Have you noticed how many super hero movies there have been recently? In the last 10 years, there have been more than all previous movie history combined. This link seems to prove my point. Check the list, going as far back as 1941, to 1998, there's only 18. Now look at the rest of the list, from 2000 on up- 35 of them. Now, some of those I don't really consider "super hero movies", like The Incredibles or Super Hero Movie, which just mocks all real super hero movies, but still. I'm talking movies based on a comic book character. And look at the list of upcoming movies, including multiple sequels (spiderman 4 and 5, Ghost Rider 2, multiple X-Men, etc), in just the next couple of years!
Who do I think is the cause of the glut of super hero movies? ....ME!
Well, not me really, but my generation. The 18-35 demographic, which is traditionally the one that spends the most discretionary income on useless things, like movies. We grew up with these comic books in the 90's which was a good time for comics, and people are paying attention to us now. WE DEMAND MORE SUPER HERO MOVIES!!!!
Anyway, I think it's pretty cool that we get to see all these movies about super heroes that I grew up reading comics of, but I really just wanted to post this to see how many super hero references I could combine in the title of the post.
On a related topic, there also seem to be a good number of movies based on video games now. Years ago, there was the live action mario brothers movie, which sucked ass, and a few other ones, going as far back as Tron. But again, in the last few years, there have been a bunch more. Just this week, Prince of Persia came out, one of my old favorite games that I played in middle school. In addition to the list of movies based on actual games, there have been movies which had video games as a main subject, such as Grandma's Boy, The King of Kong, and Gamer, in the last few years.
Hooray for video games! That is all.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sluggish Ugly Vehicles Suck
this post has been a LONG time coming...anyone who has heard my rants about SUVs can probably skip this.
I hate SUVs.
and not just the SUVs themselves, but the people who drive them. now, before I get into it more, yes, I drive a Prius, and yes, I care about the environment, but that's not the entire reason I hate SUVs and their drivers. There's a few reasons:
1. SUVs are generally much larger than necessary. I gave as an example the Ford Excursion. There were several versions, and the SMALLEST engine was a 5.4L V8. The curb weight is over 7000 lbs. Now, I understand that there are people who have large families (the Duggars have a friggin BUS, for goodness sake) and there are people who need to haul around a lot of stuff on a regular basis. My ire is not directed towards those people. If someone has a valid reason for needing a large vehicle, that's fine. What really gets me is the people who have a large SUV, are single, no kids, and work in an office all day. What possible reason do you have for needing a vehicle that large? If you were a carpenter, fine (my dad is, and he drives a truck. I understand that). If you run a daycare and routinely drive around with 10 kids, fine. But when I see a young woman (not that i'm trying to be sexist, but they are usually shorter), who can barely see over the steering wheel of this hulking behemoth, with no kids in sight, nobody else in the vehicle whatsoever, and the back row(s) of seats completely empty, as well as an empty "cargo" area in the back, I wonder, what possible use does the back 2/3rds of the vehicle get? Couldn't they get where they are going in a midsize passenger car, instead of something that is classified as a truck? I understand that people do have weekend/after work activities that may require a larger vehicle (boating, off-roading, etc). but if you have the money to afford a vehicle that large, and the gas it consumes, I would think you should be able to afford a small car for daily commuting too. That leads into my next point:
2. Gas. With gas prices on a rollercoaster that is only going to keep climbing, why drive a vehicle that gets 10mpg? If you can only afford one car, and you NEED a large truck regularly, then I can understand that. But, if you have a second car, which might be smaller and get better mileage, why not use that one AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, and save the gas guzzler to drive only when you need that extra seating/cargo capacity/towing capability? and if you don't need the extra stuff that a truck or SUV provides, why drive it and use more gas (read: spend more money) than you need to? With a typical small car, you can go twice (or 3 times) as far with the same amount of gas. If you are by yourself most of the time in your car (how often during rush hour do you see more than one person in a car?) why not get the most distance for your money?
2b. For the last few years, gas prices have been anywhere between $2-4/gallon, but have been holding fairly steady with a few exceptions (oil spills, refinery shutdowns, etc) But if you think about it, how much longer can that go on? eventually, oil WILL RUN OUT, and we won't have any more. For over 100 years, we have been pumping it out of the ground as fast as we can, and there's only so much that exists. Eventually, it will be (and has been) getting harder to find, harder to drill for, and lower quality than the stuff that came bubbling out of Jed Clampett's backyard. I've read several books on the subject, and all records indicate that Peak Oil (that is, the point where half of all available oil in the world has been used) will happen soon.
Look at the graphs on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_oil Notice how the ones about production in the United States look like a regular bell curve, with a midpoint high and then a down slope? That's the point when the US was unable to find enough oil to increase the amount that we were producing, and when the amount of oil imports drastically increased, even as consumption also increased. Rather than people saying, hey wait a minute, we have to buy more of this stuff from other countries, maybe we could try to conserve and not have to use so much? People buy second, third, fourth cars, and increasingly larger ones. Now look at the graph for the entire world. See how it generally follows the line of the US graph up to the "peak" point around now? What do you think is going to happen after the entire world starts going on that down slope? When it happened in the US, we could buy more from other countries (ie. Saudi Arabia) But when Saudi Arabia reaches their peak, where are we going to go when the world is maxed out on the amount of oil we can pump and we can't find any more? It's gonna get harder to pump out what's left, it'll get more expensive, and the world is gonna go to shit unless we can find alternatives. I could go on and on about this more (and I probably will in a future post) but we'll leave it at that for now.
3. What was I talking about again? oh yeah, I hate people who drive SUVs. Another thing that annoys me about them is the physical dimensions on the road. With most SUVs, if you are in a regular car behind them, all you can see ahead is...their ass. In typical highway driving, 55-65 mph, you need to see far enough ahead of you so that you can avoid a crash (or see a speed trap). With a large SUV, which generally have tinted windows in the back, you can't see ahead of them, above them, or through them. You have to either get out of the lane and hope there isn't a large SUV in the other lane too, or back off far enough that you can see around them (which causes traffic backups when people have to stay 50 car lengths behind the next person). If you don't back off or change lanes, the SUV is causing a potential road hazard which could cause a crash.
The width of them (or perceived width by the driver) also causes problems on small roads. On a narrow road, where there IS enough room for two cars to pass each other, with an inexperienced SUV driver, they think they are wider than they really are, which causes them to routinely cross the double yellow line down the MIDDLE of the road. This causes hazards for oncoming cars, who might have to swerve off the road to avoid being hit. This has almost happened to me before, and I've only been saved by the SUV driver seeing that there was an oncoming car, and moving back over onto their own side of the double yellow, but it only takes one time when they DON'T see the person, to have a horrific accident.
4. Environment. I can go on and on about this as well, and I agree that ALL gasoline powered vehicles are at fault, but SUVs do produce much more CO, CO2, and whatever other harmful gases, than smaller cars do. One of the problems here is that the largest SUVs are classified as "light trucks", which have less stringent regulations and less government oversight on gas mileage as well as emissions, than passenger cars do. Some SUVs (such as the Hummer H2) don't have to even have EPA mileage testing done, or displayed on the window sticker. I guess that is a fault of the government, who doesn't see the need to hold them to the same testing standards, the consumer, who doesn't demand the same information as other cars, and the dealers, who try to obfuscate the problems that SUVs have compared to smaller cars.
That's all for now, but other minor points- safety of SUV drivers isn't any better in a larger, heavier, higher-up vehicle; more dangerous for other drivers; harder to control; rollovers, etc.
I hate SUVs.
I hate SUVs.
and not just the SUVs themselves, but the people who drive them. now, before I get into it more, yes, I drive a Prius, and yes, I care about the environment, but that's not the entire reason I hate SUVs and their drivers. There's a few reasons:
1. SUVs are generally much larger than necessary. I gave as an example the Ford Excursion. There were several versions, and the SMALLEST engine was a 5.4L V8. The curb weight is over 7000 lbs. Now, I understand that there are people who have large families (the Duggars have a friggin BUS, for goodness sake) and there are people who need to haul around a lot of stuff on a regular basis. My ire is not directed towards those people. If someone has a valid reason for needing a large vehicle, that's fine. What really gets me is the people who have a large SUV, are single, no kids, and work in an office all day. What possible reason do you have for needing a vehicle that large? If you were a carpenter, fine (my dad is, and he drives a truck. I understand that). If you run a daycare and routinely drive around with 10 kids, fine. But when I see a young woman (not that i'm trying to be sexist, but they are usually shorter), who can barely see over the steering wheel of this hulking behemoth, with no kids in sight, nobody else in the vehicle whatsoever, and the back row(s) of seats completely empty, as well as an empty "cargo" area in the back, I wonder, what possible use does the back 2/3rds of the vehicle get? Couldn't they get where they are going in a midsize passenger car, instead of something that is classified as a truck? I understand that people do have weekend/after work activities that may require a larger vehicle (boating, off-roading, etc). but if you have the money to afford a vehicle that large, and the gas it consumes, I would think you should be able to afford a small car for daily commuting too. That leads into my next point:
2. Gas. With gas prices on a rollercoaster that is only going to keep climbing, why drive a vehicle that gets 10mpg? If you can only afford one car, and you NEED a large truck regularly, then I can understand that. But, if you have a second car, which might be smaller and get better mileage, why not use that one AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, and save the gas guzzler to drive only when you need that extra seating/cargo capacity/towing capability? and if you don't need the extra stuff that a truck or SUV provides, why drive it and use more gas (read: spend more money) than you need to? With a typical small car, you can go twice (or 3 times) as far with the same amount of gas. If you are by yourself most of the time in your car (how often during rush hour do you see more than one person in a car?) why not get the most distance for your money?
2b. For the last few years, gas prices have been anywhere between $2-4/gallon, but have been holding fairly steady with a few exceptions (oil spills, refinery shutdowns, etc) But if you think about it, how much longer can that go on? eventually, oil WILL RUN OUT, and we won't have any more. For over 100 years, we have been pumping it out of the ground as fast as we can, and there's only so much that exists. Eventually, it will be (and has been) getting harder to find, harder to drill for, and lower quality than the stuff that came bubbling out of Jed Clampett's backyard. I've read several books on the subject, and all records indicate that Peak Oil (that is, the point where half of all available oil in the world has been used) will happen soon.
Look at the graphs on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_oil Notice how the ones about production in the United States look like a regular bell curve, with a midpoint high and then a down slope? That's the point when the US was unable to find enough oil to increase the amount that we were producing, and when the amount of oil imports drastically increased, even as consumption also increased. Rather than people saying, hey wait a minute, we have to buy more of this stuff from other countries, maybe we could try to conserve and not have to use so much? People buy second, third, fourth cars, and increasingly larger ones. Now look at the graph for the entire world. See how it generally follows the line of the US graph up to the "peak" point around now? What do you think is going to happen after the entire world starts going on that down slope? When it happened in the US, we could buy more from other countries (ie. Saudi Arabia) But when Saudi Arabia reaches their peak, where are we going to go when the world is maxed out on the amount of oil we can pump and we can't find any more? It's gonna get harder to pump out what's left, it'll get more expensive, and the world is gonna go to shit unless we can find alternatives. I could go on and on about this more (and I probably will in a future post) but we'll leave it at that for now.
3. What was I talking about again? oh yeah, I hate people who drive SUVs. Another thing that annoys me about them is the physical dimensions on the road. With most SUVs, if you are in a regular car behind them, all you can see ahead is...their ass. In typical highway driving, 55-65 mph, you need to see far enough ahead of you so that you can avoid a crash (or see a speed trap). With a large SUV, which generally have tinted windows in the back, you can't see ahead of them, above them, or through them. You have to either get out of the lane and hope there isn't a large SUV in the other lane too, or back off far enough that you can see around them (which causes traffic backups when people have to stay 50 car lengths behind the next person). If you don't back off or change lanes, the SUV is causing a potential road hazard which could cause a crash.
The width of them (or perceived width by the driver) also causes problems on small roads. On a narrow road, where there IS enough room for two cars to pass each other, with an inexperienced SUV driver, they think they are wider than they really are, which causes them to routinely cross the double yellow line down the MIDDLE of the road. This causes hazards for oncoming cars, who might have to swerve off the road to avoid being hit. This has almost happened to me before, and I've only been saved by the SUV driver seeing that there was an oncoming car, and moving back over onto their own side of the double yellow, but it only takes one time when they DON'T see the person, to have a horrific accident.
4. Environment. I can go on and on about this as well, and I agree that ALL gasoline powered vehicles are at fault, but SUVs do produce much more CO, CO2, and whatever other harmful gases, than smaller cars do. One of the problems here is that the largest SUVs are classified as "light trucks", which have less stringent regulations and less government oversight on gas mileage as well as emissions, than passenger cars do. Some SUVs (such as the Hummer H2) don't have to even have EPA mileage testing done, or displayed on the window sticker. I guess that is a fault of the government, who doesn't see the need to hold them to the same testing standards, the consumer, who doesn't demand the same information as other cars, and the dealers, who try to obfuscate the problems that SUVs have compared to smaller cars.
That's all for now, but other minor points- safety of SUV drivers isn't any better in a larger, heavier, higher-up vehicle; more dangerous for other drivers; harder to control; rollovers, etc.
I hate SUVs.
Monday, May 17, 2010
In-Store Screw Up?
So my next post was going to be a rant about SUVs, but I'll save that for another time. I wanted to share an experience with Best Buy's In-Store Pickup. So on a weekday morning, around 9am or so, I go on bestbuy.com, and purchase an ipod touch. I select in-store pickup, as I needed it that day. around 9:25 or so, I get an email stating that the product is available for in-store pickup as soon as the store opens (at 10am). Ok fine, I'll go some time after 10am. I was busy doing other stuff, and didn't actually get to the store until around 11:30, so that gives the employees 2 hours from the time that the email said it was ready, to pick it out and put it on the shelf in the customer service area, right? In and out in 5 minutes hopefully! we'll see about that...
So I get to the store, go in, and present a printed-out copy of the email stating that it's ready for pickup, and the paper has my name, order #, etc. and also SAYS WHAT I AM PICKING UP. So there's only one guy at the register, and 3 people waiting in line. Fine, I'll wait a few minutes, no big deal. (even though there were 3 other employees in sight, who were standing around in a group talking to each other, and 2 empty registers in Customer Service, but we won't get into that) So finally it's my turn, I hand the guy the paper, and say I'm picking up an order. He says ok, glances at the sheet, and types some stuff in the computer. He asks me what I ordered. umm, shouldn't it say that on the computer? At the very least, I know it says that on the sheet I just handed you. I'm not gonna start throwing a fit, so I tell him it's an Ipod Touch 32 gig. He then turns around and looks at the shelves. There's no ipod there (I could've told him that already as I couldn't see it while I was waiting in line). So he goes and types a few more things in the computer, and then says "it's not on the shelf, I'm gonna have to go find someone to help you". Strike 1, it wasn't set aside, when the email told me it was, and you guys had an hour and a half from the time the store opened, to go get it.
So he walks away, goes to talk to the 3 other employees who are just standing around talking, and then comes back over to me and says "right this way". Ok great, now I can get it and get out of here. He brings me over to a random desk with a huge fat guy sitting at it (another employee who was not actually doing anything). Types some more stuff into the computer there, and prints out a sheet of paper that has stuff about in store pickup. it has a signature line at the bottom, he tells me to sign it and I'll get the ipod. I glance it over, boilerplate legal mumbo-jumbo, not liable for ___, giving best buy your first born, etc.... so i sign it. He then takes me back over to the customer service desk and mumbles something about unlocking. He gets back behind the desk (so I couldn't punch him?) and starts talking on the headset that all the employees are wearing. In the middle, he asks me again, what I'm picking up. Didn't I just tell you 5 minutes ago? And...aren't you still holding the paper that says what it is? Ipod touch 32 gig. So 5 minutes later, someone comes over and says to the first guy, yeah, we need someone to unlock the cage. he explains to me that ipods and similar expensive portable devices are kept in a small metal locker/cage thing right at the front of the store where the "asset management associate" (aka Best Buy Bouncer, aka guy who checks receipts) stands. what follows is a transcript of their conversation:
1: "so where's the key?"
2: "i dunno"
1: "well don't you have it?"
2: "no"
1: "does tony have it?"
2: "tony's not working today"
1: "what about ben?"
2: "umm maybe but I dunno where he is"
1: "isn't he answering on the mic?"
2: "nope, already tried"
1: "is he on break?"
2: "no his shift just started"
1: "is he in the shitter?"
2: "i'm not going in to check"
1: "neither am i"
2: "well what do we do?"
1: "go ask john"
{john turns out to be the Bouncer}
2: {yells over to Bouncer} "hey john, do you have the key for the cage?"
john: "nope, i'm not a manager"
2: "do you know who has the key?"
john: "maybe riley does?"
2: "ok thanks!"
2: {on headset} "riley, do you have the key?"
{inaudible static}
2: "can you come to the front of the store please?"
1: {to me} "what are you picking up again?"
me: {for the third time to the same person} "ipod touch 32 gig"
Strike 2, you have the memory of a goldfish.
So finally the person who actually DOES have the key arrives at the front of the store, and unlocks the cage. He gets the ipod out and brings it to #1 at the desk. He scans the barcode and gives me the ipod (finally) and says "you're all set". umm ok... on the paper (in the pickup email) it says you need to check my ID and the credit card that I used. "nope, we don't need to do that, that was the old procedure". (old since 2 hours ago? it clearly states I need to bring in my ID and credit card so you can verify) and where's my receipt? what if the Bouncer stops me as I'm leaving? what if i want to return it? Strike 3, no verification of who I am. I could've walked in there with a piece of paper that had gibberish written on it and a Best Buy logo at the top, and walked out of there (after half an hour) with a free ipod touch! or alternately, I could've told the guy that I was getting a 64 gig touch instead of 32. I would've had to tell him multiple times, but I bet I would be able to walk out with it!
whats the point of doing in store pickup if it would've been faster to just walk in the store and buy it?
I hate stupid people....
So I get to the store, go in, and present a printed-out copy of the email stating that it's ready for pickup, and the paper has my name, order #, etc. and also SAYS WHAT I AM PICKING UP. So there's only one guy at the register, and 3 people waiting in line. Fine, I'll wait a few minutes, no big deal. (even though there were 3 other employees in sight, who were standing around in a group talking to each other, and 2 empty registers in Customer Service, but we won't get into that) So finally it's my turn, I hand the guy the paper, and say I'm picking up an order. He says ok, glances at the sheet, and types some stuff in the computer. He asks me what I ordered. umm, shouldn't it say that on the computer? At the very least, I know it says that on the sheet I just handed you. I'm not gonna start throwing a fit, so I tell him it's an Ipod Touch 32 gig. He then turns around and looks at the shelves. There's no ipod there (I could've told him that already as I couldn't see it while I was waiting in line). So he goes and types a few more things in the computer, and then says "it's not on the shelf, I'm gonna have to go find someone to help you". Strike 1, it wasn't set aside, when the email told me it was, and you guys had an hour and a half from the time the store opened, to go get it.
So he walks away, goes to talk to the 3 other employees who are just standing around talking, and then comes back over to me and says "right this way". Ok great, now I can get it and get out of here. He brings me over to a random desk with a huge fat guy sitting at it (another employee who was not actually doing anything). Types some more stuff into the computer there, and prints out a sheet of paper that has stuff about in store pickup. it has a signature line at the bottom, he tells me to sign it and I'll get the ipod. I glance it over, boilerplate legal mumbo-jumbo, not liable for ___, giving best buy your first born, etc.... so i sign it. He then takes me back over to the customer service desk and mumbles something about unlocking. He gets back behind the desk (so I couldn't punch him?) and starts talking on the headset that all the employees are wearing. In the middle, he asks me again, what I'm picking up. Didn't I just tell you 5 minutes ago? And...aren't you still holding the paper that says what it is? Ipod touch 32 gig. So 5 minutes later, someone comes over and says to the first guy, yeah, we need someone to unlock the cage. he explains to me that ipods and similar expensive portable devices are kept in a small metal locker/cage thing right at the front of the store where the "asset management associate" (aka Best Buy Bouncer, aka guy who checks receipts) stands. what follows is a transcript of their conversation:
1: "so where's the key?"
2: "i dunno"
1: "well don't you have it?"
2: "no"
1: "does tony have it?"
2: "tony's not working today"
1: "what about ben?"
2: "umm maybe but I dunno where he is"
1: "isn't he answering on the mic?"
2: "nope, already tried"
1: "is he on break?"
2: "no his shift just started"
1: "is he in the shitter?"
2: "i'm not going in to check"
1: "neither am i"
2: "well what do we do?"
1: "go ask john"
{john turns out to be the Bouncer}
2: {yells over to Bouncer} "hey john, do you have the key for the cage?"
john: "nope, i'm not a manager"
2: "do you know who has the key?"
john: "maybe riley does?"
2: "ok thanks!"
2: {on headset} "riley, do you have the key?"
{inaudible static}
2: "can you come to the front of the store please?"
1: {to me} "what are you picking up again?"
me: {for the third time to the same person} "ipod touch 32 gig"
Strike 2, you have the memory of a goldfish.
So finally the person who actually DOES have the key arrives at the front of the store, and unlocks the cage. He gets the ipod out and brings it to #1 at the desk. He scans the barcode and gives me the ipod (finally) and says "you're all set". umm ok... on the paper (in the pickup email) it says you need to check my ID and the credit card that I used. "nope, we don't need to do that, that was the old procedure". (old since 2 hours ago? it clearly states I need to bring in my ID and credit card so you can verify) and where's my receipt? what if the Bouncer stops me as I'm leaving? what if i want to return it? Strike 3, no verification of who I am. I could've walked in there with a piece of paper that had gibberish written on it and a Best Buy logo at the top, and walked out of there (after half an hour) with a free ipod touch! or alternately, I could've told the guy that I was getting a 64 gig touch instead of 32. I would've had to tell him multiple times, but I bet I would be able to walk out with it!
whats the point of doing in store pickup if it would've been faster to just walk in the store and buy it?
I hate stupid people....
Monday, May 10, 2010
Ga ga ooh la la, want your bad romance
Gather 'round children, while I tell you the story of Thumper. No, not the bunny from Bambi, my upstairs neighbor. I call her Thumper, because I don't know her actual name, and well, she thumps.
{summons the spirit of Dr. Seuss}
she thumps in the night, she thumps in the day
she thumps when I am home, and probably when I'm away
her floors are wood, she thumps when walking
she thumps from sex, and I can hear her talking
I think she wears boots 24/7
I wish she would die and not go to heaven
now that we've gotten that out of the way, the real story:
So when I bought my condo, moved all my stuff in, things were great. Have my own place, much closer to work, owning instead of renting, etc. Perfectly fine for a few weeks. Then I started noticing that I could hear my upstairs neighbor walking around. No big deal, I thought, I only heard it in the afternoons. Then I started noticing that she seems to work weird hours, and comes home late (often after 11pm) and I can still hear her walking around at midnight or later. Kind of annoying, but nothing I can't deal with.
Then... I started hearing other noises, that were definitely not walking. These noises happened only late at night, times between midnight and 3 am or so. They are also very regularly timed, sounding like someone who was hammering in a nail constantly, but faster.
After a little bit of listening to this for the first time, I determined it was definitely her having sex, and the noise was her headboard/bed repeatedly hitting the wall. So I decided to pound on the ceiling, and the noises stopped. I later heard someone walking around, going to the bathroom (I can also hear the water in the pipes when she showers or flushes).
Flash forward to another night, I heard the thumping noises again, around 3am. I pound on the ceiling again, the noises stop. Then a few minutes later, they start again. I pound on the ceiling again, they stop.
This happened multiple times, and would eventually stop after I pounded on the ceiling. Then one night, I pounded on the ceiling, and the noises kept going. I decided I need to do something. I wrote a note on a piece of paper, something to the effect of "stop fucking so loudly, I would like to be able to sleep" but phrased nicer.
After that, I didn't hear the noises for a while. Then they started up again. I figured I would need to take this to the next level. So I thought to myself, what would be more annoying to someone in the middle of sex, than pounding on their floor? Of course, an airhorn! So I went on ebay, bought an airhorn, and waited for it to arrive. About a week or so after I got it, I heard the noises again. So here we go, let's test out the airhorn. I aimed it directly at the ceiling, pressed the button, and did a couple of short blasts, the noises stopped. Didn't hear the noise for a couple weeks, then again! dammit, don't you people fucking sleep at night? do you wake up in the middle of the night to fuck? Do you have insomnia? some sleep disorder that only causes you to be horny in the middle of the night? So this time, I was really pissed, I took the airhorn, put shoes on, and walked up the stairs, opened her outer door, flipped up the mail slot, and blew the airhorn through the mail slot. Went back downstairs, and didn't hear any more noise.
Then, the next time I heard it, it was 6:30 am on a Sunday, and I was woken up early by more thumping noises. I decided rather than use the airhorn, or pound on the ceiling, I would see if I could share the noise with others. So I grabbed my cell phone, pulled up the sound recorder, and recorded the noises. Below is the recording, turn up the volume, the cell phone mic is kinda crappy.
so that's the latest for now, the story will continue in the future I'm sure.... hopefully with less loud headboard sex for her, and more sleep for me.
{summons the spirit of Dr. Seuss}
she thumps in the night, she thumps in the day
she thumps when I am home, and probably when I'm away
her floors are wood, she thumps when walking
she thumps from sex, and I can hear her talking
I think she wears boots 24/7
I wish she would die and not go to heaven
now that we've gotten that out of the way, the real story:
So when I bought my condo, moved all my stuff in, things were great. Have my own place, much closer to work, owning instead of renting, etc. Perfectly fine for a few weeks. Then I started noticing that I could hear my upstairs neighbor walking around. No big deal, I thought, I only heard it in the afternoons. Then I started noticing that she seems to work weird hours, and comes home late (often after 11pm) and I can still hear her walking around at midnight or later. Kind of annoying, but nothing I can't deal with.
Then... I started hearing other noises, that were definitely not walking. These noises happened only late at night, times between midnight and 3 am or so. They are also very regularly timed, sounding like someone who was hammering in a nail constantly, but faster.
After a little bit of listening to this for the first time, I determined it was definitely her having sex, and the noise was her headboard/bed repeatedly hitting the wall. So I decided to pound on the ceiling, and the noises stopped. I later heard someone walking around, going to the bathroom (I can also hear the water in the pipes when she showers or flushes).
Flash forward to another night, I heard the thumping noises again, around 3am. I pound on the ceiling again, the noises stop. Then a few minutes later, they start again. I pound on the ceiling again, they stop.
This happened multiple times, and would eventually stop after I pounded on the ceiling. Then one night, I pounded on the ceiling, and the noises kept going. I decided I need to do something. I wrote a note on a piece of paper, something to the effect of "stop fucking so loudly, I would like to be able to sleep" but phrased nicer.
After that, I didn't hear the noises for a while. Then they started up again. I figured I would need to take this to the next level. So I thought to myself, what would be more annoying to someone in the middle of sex, than pounding on their floor? Of course, an airhorn! So I went on ebay, bought an airhorn, and waited for it to arrive. About a week or so after I got it, I heard the noises again. So here we go, let's test out the airhorn. I aimed it directly at the ceiling, pressed the button, and did a couple of short blasts, the noises stopped. Didn't hear the noise for a couple weeks, then again! dammit, don't you people fucking sleep at night? do you wake up in the middle of the night to fuck? Do you have insomnia? some sleep disorder that only causes you to be horny in the middle of the night? So this time, I was really pissed, I took the airhorn, put shoes on, and walked up the stairs, opened her outer door, flipped up the mail slot, and blew the airhorn through the mail slot. Went back downstairs, and didn't hear any more noise.
Then, the next time I heard it, it was 6:30 am on a Sunday, and I was woken up early by more thumping noises. I decided rather than use the airhorn, or pound on the ceiling, I would see if I could share the noise with others. So I grabbed my cell phone, pulled up the sound recorder, and recorded the noises. Below is the recording, turn up the volume, the cell phone mic is kinda crappy.
so that's the latest for now, the story will continue in the future I'm sure.... hopefully with less loud headboard sex for her, and more sleep for me.
First!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!one!!!
Ok, so I decided based on suggestions of coworkers that i'm "hilarious" and "you should start a blog", that I'm gonna quit my job and go work somewhere with people who have a better sense of humor.... umm, I mean, I decided that I'm gonna start this blog!
So what's this blog gonna be about? Mostly boring stuff in my life that I try to make funny, stupid comments, possibly racist/bad/sexual innuendo-type jokes, random thoughts out of my messed up head, and basic stuff of my everyday life that I feel like sharing with the world in general.
The title is an obvious allusion to the fact that I'm a techno-nerd and that tech support sucks, but you may be wondering why the term "PICNIC", why not "sucks" or "is bad". Well, I'm not gonna tell you, so http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com/ Or you can go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_error and read about a couple of similar acronyms too.
I will follow up this first post today with some stuff tonight, "retroactive posts" if you will, about recent funny stuff that I want to share, including a certain sound clip that people seemed to enjoy :) For now though, back to work {sigh}
I will leave you with something that I thought of today when reading something at work from a person named Gail Hollabauch:
I can't keep a straight face when I see this woman's name... I keep thinking about the gwen stefani song Hollaback Girl.....
"A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail
I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail"
So what's this blog gonna be about? Mostly boring stuff in my life that I try to make funny, stupid comments, possibly racist/bad/sexual innuendo-type jokes, random thoughts out of my messed up head, and basic stuff of my everyday life that I feel like sharing with the world in general.
The title is an obvious allusion to the fact that I'm a techno-nerd and that tech support sucks, but you may be wondering why the term "PICNIC", why not "sucks" or "is bad". Well, I'm not gonna tell you, so http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com/ Or you can go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_error and read about a couple of similar acronyms too.
I will follow up this first post today with some stuff tonight, "retroactive posts" if you will, about recent funny stuff that I want to share, including a certain sound clip that people seemed to enjoy :) For now though, back to work {sigh}
I will leave you with something that I thought of today when reading something at work from a person named Gail Hollabauch:
I can't keep a straight face when I see this woman's name... I keep thinking about the gwen stefani song Hollaback Girl.....
"A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail
I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail"
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