Wednesday, July 28, 2010

house dreams

EDIT: Well, I got an email from my Realtor that there was a cash buyer and they have a signed contract already, so everything below is back to being a dream...
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So I was on a real estate website the other day, and I came across a really really cheap place....as in, cheaper than my condo, and more than twice the square footage. It looked like a fixer-upper, but i was intrigued.
went over to check the place out, it's a couple miles further from work, and right near the train tracks, but those aren't deal breakers. especially with the size of the place, I can imagine what I can do with it.

I set up a meeting with the realtor I used for my condo, and went over there last night, it definitely needs a lot of work, and would pretty much need to be completely gutted and redone, but I think I might be able to handle it, especially if I can pay someone else to do most of the actual work and I can continue being lazy :)

I took a few pictures and came back to the condo to ponder....
hmmm, if I can get the financing to buy it, plus money to renovate it, I could make the house exactly the way I want it! Yeah, you know what, what the hell, I'll go for it!

Now, a little about the place: it is a foreclosure, bank owned, and the configuration is really really REALLY weird. When first entering, there's what appears to be a waiting room, complete with counter/desk on one side, and a bench along the opposite wall. There is also a bedroom on the first floor that has a closet with a door that leads back out to the hallway. There are a couple of other rooms that I have labeled as "??? rooms", because I have no idea what the fuck they are for! Otherwise, it seems like a partially normal house that someone was also using as a partially commercial store/office, etc.

For anyone who I talked to about the condo when I was working on buying that, you know I created an amazing Microsoft Paint drawing of the layout of the condo. Well, now I present my awesome MS Paint drawing of the house:


So that's what it looks like....now, keep in mind, the rooms are really weird, so I would definitely want to redo most of it. Now, here's my artist's conception of what I think I would want out of the place when the renovations are done:




The upstairs would be the "man cave" area, with (eventually) a pool table and arcade machine, and would probably be where I put my treadmill. The library/den would have a gigantic bookshelf with enough room for all my books. The living room would have the tv/video games, etc. and I would even have space for a real dining room table in the dining room, instead of having an eat-in kitchen. and of course, my bedroom would have a walk-in closet big enough to hide all the illegal stuff I own (j/k mom!!)

Oh, and I also didn't mention the outside of the place, there's a couple of weird areas, one which has cinder blocks placed out in a rectangle which has pipes/faucets sticking up out of it, I have no idea what that is for, I would definitely need to hire a landscaper to fix that...there's another area that has a chain link fence around it, and has a paved area in the middle. I have a feeling it may have been a doggy area because of the fence. I think I would want to pave that whole section and put up a basketball hoop so I could get some exercise outside once in a while. It wouldn't be quite a half-court, maybe more like a 1/3rd court, but it's a perfect area for it.

So....yeah, I think I might be strapped for cash until I can renovate the place, move in, and either sell or rent out my condo, but I think I'm gonna try for it.

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EDIT:  pics I took the other day uploaded to: http://techsupportisnopicnic.blogspot.com/p/house-pics.html

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Saturday, July 17, 2010

I hate kids

As part of my overall "I hate everyone"  mentality, I specifically hate kids.... so:

My list of reasons not to have kids
(Note, this list has contributions from women too, marked where appropriate.)


1. Loud
2. Smelly
3. Expensive
4. weight gain (women)
5. moodiness (women)
6. diapers
7. constant interruption
8. lack of sleep
9. no life of your own
10. stretch marks (women)
11. day care
12. kid's friends
13. being a chauffeur
14. paying for college
15. brats/obnoxious
16. teen years
17. perceived loss of IQ of parents ("oh look at the cute baby, cootchie cootchie coo!"/other baby talk... yeah, you sound like an idiot)
18. constant worrying
19. Elmo
20. children's music
21. children's tv shows
22. Teletubbies (needed a seperate number for this one)
23. they don't listen
24. they get in the way
25. people get annoyed at you for constantly talking (bragging) about them
26. baby bodily fluids
27. ungrateful
28. can't drink for 9 months (women)
29. baby poop
30. breast feeding (women)
31. parents need to be mature (no fart jokes!)
32. prenatal vitamins suck (women)

If you have any other reasons not listed here, let me know!
 

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