Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2011, but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that the United States is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Dreaming, but not Under A Table or in California
A couple months ago, I had some really really bizarre dream...I don't remember what it was now, but since then, I have been keeping a piece of paper and a pen on my nightstand, so that I can keep a dream journal of sorts. I've had some pretty bizarre ones that I want to share, but first, my recurring nightmare:
I have had this dream many times, and always wake up feeling happy when I realize that I'm not in school anymore. In this dream, I am in high school, on the first day of the school year, 5 minutes before classes start. Everyone is getting their class schedules, and starting to head off to their first class. I get to the front of the line, and get my paper with the class time blocks printed on it. I start heading away, and look at my schedule. The schedule is completely blank. I look at it some more, confused because i know i was properly registered for the school year, and the schedule had my name printed on it, but there's just no classes. So I head back to the table where the schedules are being handed out, and ask the woman why my schedule has nothing on it. She isn't helpful at all, and tells me to go to the guidance counselor's office. So I go there, and the only person there says she cant help me, and to go to the principal's office. I go to the principal's office, and they tell me that there was a mistake, and they reprint my schedule. Ok, fine, all set. At this point, the first period is already 5 minutes in, so i'm late already. I look at the schedule, and RUN to first period. I get to the room number, head in and sit down. After a few minutes I realize that I'm in the wrong class, even though this room number was the one printed on the schedule. I head back to the principal's office and ask them to confirm the room number and class, they confirm that what is on my schedule is correct. so i go back to the room, and its still not the right class. i decide to sit there anyway, and stay until the end of the period. When the bell rings, I look at my schedule again, and head to the next class. When I get there, I again realize that's the wrong class. I do the same thing, go back to the principal's office, recheck the schedule, and go back to the wrong class anyway. This happens the entire day, with every class. At the end of the day, I get on the bus and go home, and my parents are both there waiting for me. They explain that they got a call from the school that I had skipped every single class, and demand an explanation. I tell them what happened, and show them my schedule. They accept the explanation for the time being and we agree that we'll go to school tomorrow and get it straightened out. The next day, we go to school, and talk to the principal, the principal asks to look at my printed schedule, and when I show it to him, he says "well, this schedule looks fine to me, why don't you show me the incorrect room?" So we all go for a walk, to my first period class, and as we approach the room that I had gone to, I can't find the room number that I had been in. the rooms just skip over that number. I look at the schedule again, and it has a different room number than it did yesterday. Nobody believes my story, the principal suspends me from school, and my parents ground me, and that's when I wake up glad that I'm not in school anymore.
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Top Secret Government Project
In this dream, I am a member of a top secret government group (sort of like the CIA i guess?) and our mission for the day is to blow up boats in a harbor that belong to the enemy. We are also not to take any prisoners and kill all enemies on sight. So me and my team (I'm apparently the leader) swim out to the area where the boats are, and we start climbing up one. I do all kinds of covert ninja shit, and sneak up behind an enemy, and choke them unconscious. I check the name, serial number and barcode tattoo on his arm and make a note of it to tell my superiors when we finish. I then drag him into the bathroom, fill the tub up with water, and hold his head under water for several minutes. I then pull his head out of the water, and happen to look at the name, barcode and serial number again, and it has changed. The name is now the name of one of my old (female) supervisors at work (real life work). I look at the face, and the face has changed too, it's now the face of my old supervisor as well. In the dream, she had died under very mysterious circumstances several months ago. Even though I had held his (her?) head underwater for several minutes, she starts coming to, and we start talking. Turns out, the government had faked her death, and she was now working undercover as a terrorist, which is why she was on the boat we were trying to blow up. So we plant some explosives, and jump off the boat in a movie-style "jumping away from the explosion" jump.
Church Youth Group Play
So for some reason, I'm at a play that is being performed by the local church youth group. In the play, one of the kids is a small black boy who is clearly retarded. In the audience, I am sitting next to a guy who says that he is a truck driver, his big rig is out in the church parking lot. He has these huge scars all over his body, especially his face. We talk about his truck, and i express my interest in trying to drive the truck, so we agree to swap vehicles after the play. So after the play, everyone gets into their cars, and I agree to meet up with the truck driver down the street after the traffic clears out. I'm in my car trying to leave the church parking lot, and suddenly the flow of traffic changes, and I'm stuck in sand, in front of a fence, with the truck driver behind me. I try to back out, but he's pulled up so close to my car, that I can't move. I start honking at the truck driver, and he gets out of his truck and starts yelling at me. He gets pissed and wants to swap vehicles now. so i give him my keys and I get his. Somehow he manages to leave in my car. So now I'm still stuck in the church parking lot, in the sand, with an 18 wheeler. A female janitor comes by, and I start talking to her. She's there to clean up the sand for the church. She turns out to be the retarded black boy's mother. She sees the truck and recognizes it, after talking with her some more, she knows the truck driver, and he was at the play to see how the boy was doing. It turns out that there had been a fire at the woman's house, the truck driver had been driving by, and he had run in to save the boy, that's how he got all the scars on his face.
Houseboat
In this dream, I was living on a gigantic houseboat, on the bottom floor of two floors. We were anchored out in a harbor, and suddenly I hear an alarm, there's a big storm coming and we have to evacuate. I evacuate on the ferry that was sent for me, and I get to land and end up in a gigantic warehouse-like shelter that was near the harbor. The people in charge realize that there is enough time before the storm gets too bad, that we can go back to our houseboats and get whatever stuff we can (me and the other people who like on neighboring houseboats). So we get back on the ferry, and my parents are there, to help me save what stuff I can. We get to the houseboat, and there is water dripping everywhere, due to the rocking of the boat in the rough water. So my parents and I are trying to unhook all my electronics (because of course, me being me, that's what i wanted to save the most) so we are unhooking everything, and we hear a honk from the ferry. The storm is getting worse, and they need to leave. I get as much stuff in my arms as I can carry, and rush out to get on the ferry. I get on, but my parents are still trying to get more stuff for me. the ferry operator honks again, and starts powering up the engine to head back to shore. I yell out to my parents to hurry up, and finally see them coming out, and they make it onto the ferry just as it starts pulling away to head back to the shelter.
Skatepark
I'm going to a skate park (even though I've never skateboarded in my life), I get there and find out that before you go out and board, you need to put the skateboard together yourself. they give me the basics to put the board together, and I start following the directions to do it. As soon as I sit down and start, a group of 4 guys comes in, and sit down next to me. they are tough, with tattoos everywhere, and look mean. So they get their skateboard pieces, and start putting theirs together too. They are going much faster than me, seem to have done this many times before. 3 of them completely ignore me, but one keeps looking at me. Eventually, they all finish putting their boards together, and the 3 guys go out and start boarding. the guy who kept looking at me decides to take pity on me and comes over to help me put my board together, as he realizes that I have no idea what I'm doing. so now let me explain a bit about the board. when you get to the skate park, they give you a small flat board which just appears to be a small plank, then they give you a handful of wheels, nuts, axles, etc to attach to the board. Oh, and also, for some reason, the pants I was wearing to the skate park were really loose, so they were practically falling down as I walk around. I have no idea why i would wear those pants to go skateboarding, without wearing a belt. So I was having trouble getting the wheels put together, and the tough guy started helping me. We got to talking, and I told him that I had never skateboarded in my life. he says "don't worry, neither have I". "but you put your board together so fast, you seem like you've done it before?!" "yeah, I have, but whenever I go here with my buddies, I always find an excuse not to actually go out after we put the boards together." So we finish putting the wheels on, now it's time for the cover piece, to make it an actual skateboard shape. the skate park management people have a stack of covers to add to the board, which have various designs/logos etc. I happen to see a bright yellow one with the Simpsons on it, so of course I want that one, but the guy behind the counter says that we don't get to choose which one we get, so he gives me a different one, which happens to have a picture of the Barenaked Ladies band on it. That's fine with me, cause I like them anyway. So I go back to my seat with the board and cover, and start putting it on, with the other guy helping me (i don't recall ever asking or finding out his name). So we get the cover on, then he asks me if i set up the blood pressure monitor on the skateboard. "blood pressure monitor?!?!?!" "yeah so you can tell if you are going fast enough". so I go and ask the guy at the counter for the blood pressure monitor, and he gives me a long cable. I take it back to the chair, and the guy goes "ok, now you can use this to wrap around your pants for a belt, i noticed they were kinda sagging and you might get the bottoms stuck in the skateboard wheels" so I take the blood pressure cable, and loop it through my belt loops and tie it into a knot to make a belt. and that was when i woke up....
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I have no idea what any of those mean, if any professional dream interpreters want to review and tell me whatever meanings you can get out of it, feel free!
I have had this dream many times, and always wake up feeling happy when I realize that I'm not in school anymore. In this dream, I am in high school, on the first day of the school year, 5 minutes before classes start. Everyone is getting their class schedules, and starting to head off to their first class. I get to the front of the line, and get my paper with the class time blocks printed on it. I start heading away, and look at my schedule. The schedule is completely blank. I look at it some more, confused because i know i was properly registered for the school year, and the schedule had my name printed on it, but there's just no classes. So I head back to the table where the schedules are being handed out, and ask the woman why my schedule has nothing on it. She isn't helpful at all, and tells me to go to the guidance counselor's office. So I go there, and the only person there says she cant help me, and to go to the principal's office. I go to the principal's office, and they tell me that there was a mistake, and they reprint my schedule. Ok, fine, all set. At this point, the first period is already 5 minutes in, so i'm late already. I look at the schedule, and RUN to first period. I get to the room number, head in and sit down. After a few minutes I realize that I'm in the wrong class, even though this room number was the one printed on the schedule. I head back to the principal's office and ask them to confirm the room number and class, they confirm that what is on my schedule is correct. so i go back to the room, and its still not the right class. i decide to sit there anyway, and stay until the end of the period. When the bell rings, I look at my schedule again, and head to the next class. When I get there, I again realize that's the wrong class. I do the same thing, go back to the principal's office, recheck the schedule, and go back to the wrong class anyway. This happens the entire day, with every class. At the end of the day, I get on the bus and go home, and my parents are both there waiting for me. They explain that they got a call from the school that I had skipped every single class, and demand an explanation. I tell them what happened, and show them my schedule. They accept the explanation for the time being and we agree that we'll go to school tomorrow and get it straightened out. The next day, we go to school, and talk to the principal, the principal asks to look at my printed schedule, and when I show it to him, he says "well, this schedule looks fine to me, why don't you show me the incorrect room?" So we all go for a walk, to my first period class, and as we approach the room that I had gone to, I can't find the room number that I had been in. the rooms just skip over that number. I look at the schedule again, and it has a different room number than it did yesterday. Nobody believes my story, the principal suspends me from school, and my parents ground me, and that's when I wake up glad that I'm not in school anymore.
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Top Secret Government Project
In this dream, I am a member of a top secret government group (sort of like the CIA i guess?) and our mission for the day is to blow up boats in a harbor that belong to the enemy. We are also not to take any prisoners and kill all enemies on sight. So me and my team (I'm apparently the leader) swim out to the area where the boats are, and we start climbing up one. I do all kinds of covert ninja shit, and sneak up behind an enemy, and choke them unconscious. I check the name, serial number and barcode tattoo on his arm and make a note of it to tell my superiors when we finish. I then drag him into the bathroom, fill the tub up with water, and hold his head under water for several minutes. I then pull his head out of the water, and happen to look at the name, barcode and serial number again, and it has changed. The name is now the name of one of my old (female) supervisors at work (real life work). I look at the face, and the face has changed too, it's now the face of my old supervisor as well. In the dream, she had died under very mysterious circumstances several months ago. Even though I had held his (her?) head underwater for several minutes, she starts coming to, and we start talking. Turns out, the government had faked her death, and she was now working undercover as a terrorist, which is why she was on the boat we were trying to blow up. So we plant some explosives, and jump off the boat in a movie-style "jumping away from the explosion" jump.
Church Youth Group Play
So for some reason, I'm at a play that is being performed by the local church youth group. In the play, one of the kids is a small black boy who is clearly retarded. In the audience, I am sitting next to a guy who says that he is a truck driver, his big rig is out in the church parking lot. He has these huge scars all over his body, especially his face. We talk about his truck, and i express my interest in trying to drive the truck, so we agree to swap vehicles after the play. So after the play, everyone gets into their cars, and I agree to meet up with the truck driver down the street after the traffic clears out. I'm in my car trying to leave the church parking lot, and suddenly the flow of traffic changes, and I'm stuck in sand, in front of a fence, with the truck driver behind me. I try to back out, but he's pulled up so close to my car, that I can't move. I start honking at the truck driver, and he gets out of his truck and starts yelling at me. He gets pissed and wants to swap vehicles now. so i give him my keys and I get his. Somehow he manages to leave in my car. So now I'm still stuck in the church parking lot, in the sand, with an 18 wheeler. A female janitor comes by, and I start talking to her. She's there to clean up the sand for the church. She turns out to be the retarded black boy's mother. She sees the truck and recognizes it, after talking with her some more, she knows the truck driver, and he was at the play to see how the boy was doing. It turns out that there had been a fire at the woman's house, the truck driver had been driving by, and he had run in to save the boy, that's how he got all the scars on his face.
Houseboat
In this dream, I was living on a gigantic houseboat, on the bottom floor of two floors. We were anchored out in a harbor, and suddenly I hear an alarm, there's a big storm coming and we have to evacuate. I evacuate on the ferry that was sent for me, and I get to land and end up in a gigantic warehouse-like shelter that was near the harbor. The people in charge realize that there is enough time before the storm gets too bad, that we can go back to our houseboats and get whatever stuff we can (me and the other people who like on neighboring houseboats). So we get back on the ferry, and my parents are there, to help me save what stuff I can. We get to the houseboat, and there is water dripping everywhere, due to the rocking of the boat in the rough water. So my parents and I are trying to unhook all my electronics (because of course, me being me, that's what i wanted to save the most) so we are unhooking everything, and we hear a honk from the ferry. The storm is getting worse, and they need to leave. I get as much stuff in my arms as I can carry, and rush out to get on the ferry. I get on, but my parents are still trying to get more stuff for me. the ferry operator honks again, and starts powering up the engine to head back to shore. I yell out to my parents to hurry up, and finally see them coming out, and they make it onto the ferry just as it starts pulling away to head back to the shelter.
Skatepark
I'm going to a skate park (even though I've never skateboarded in my life), I get there and find out that before you go out and board, you need to put the skateboard together yourself. they give me the basics to put the board together, and I start following the directions to do it. As soon as I sit down and start, a group of 4 guys comes in, and sit down next to me. they are tough, with tattoos everywhere, and look mean. So they get their skateboard pieces, and start putting theirs together too. They are going much faster than me, seem to have done this many times before. 3 of them completely ignore me, but one keeps looking at me. Eventually, they all finish putting their boards together, and the 3 guys go out and start boarding. the guy who kept looking at me decides to take pity on me and comes over to help me put my board together, as he realizes that I have no idea what I'm doing. so now let me explain a bit about the board. when you get to the skate park, they give you a small flat board which just appears to be a small plank, then they give you a handful of wheels, nuts, axles, etc to attach to the board. Oh, and also, for some reason, the pants I was wearing to the skate park were really loose, so they were practically falling down as I walk around. I have no idea why i would wear those pants to go skateboarding, without wearing a belt. So I was having trouble getting the wheels put together, and the tough guy started helping me. We got to talking, and I told him that I had never skateboarded in my life. he says "don't worry, neither have I". "but you put your board together so fast, you seem like you've done it before?!" "yeah, I have, but whenever I go here with my buddies, I always find an excuse not to actually go out after we put the boards together." So we finish putting the wheels on, now it's time for the cover piece, to make it an actual skateboard shape. the skate park management people have a stack of covers to add to the board, which have various designs/logos etc. I happen to see a bright yellow one with the Simpsons on it, so of course I want that one, but the guy behind the counter says that we don't get to choose which one we get, so he gives me a different one, which happens to have a picture of the Barenaked Ladies band on it. That's fine with me, cause I like them anyway. So I go back to my seat with the board and cover, and start putting it on, with the other guy helping me (i don't recall ever asking or finding out his name). So we get the cover on, then he asks me if i set up the blood pressure monitor on the skateboard. "blood pressure monitor?!?!?!" "yeah so you can tell if you are going fast enough". so I go and ask the guy at the counter for the blood pressure monitor, and he gives me a long cable. I take it back to the chair, and the guy goes "ok, now you can use this to wrap around your pants for a belt, i noticed they were kinda sagging and you might get the bottoms stuck in the skateboard wheels" so I take the blood pressure cable, and loop it through my belt loops and tie it into a knot to make a belt. and that was when i woke up....
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I have no idea what any of those mean, if any professional dream interpreters want to review and tell me whatever meanings you can get out of it, feel free!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Not quite the biggest loser, but...
Ok, so I know I haven't posted in a while, and I keep meaning to, but never seem to be able to find the time to write up the huge long diatribes I want to write. However, today, something happened (again) that is spurring me to sit down on my (not-as-fat-anymore) ass and brag.
Today during lunchtime (while working from home) I weighed myself on the Wii Fit, as I have periodically since I got it a couple years ago. Apparently, since the last time I weighed myself, I've lost 2.4 pounds :)
Since I got the wii fit, I have lost a total of 41.9 pounds. The first weigh in way back in March of 2008 was 225.3. Today's was 183.4. So in approximately 30 months, I have lost an average of 0.71 pounds per month. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but when it happens over the course of 2.5 years, I guess it really adds up (or down?).
So guess what? I'm REALLY frikkin happy! Yeah, I still have a gut, and I think I would need to have lipo to have a totally flat stomach, and I'll never have abs like The Situation (yeah, I made a Jersey Shore reference, sue me!) but I look a hell of a lot better with my shirt off than I used to. In fact, while I'm talking about it, I used to be terribly embarrassed to go swimming at the beach, water park, etc. and i was one of the fat kids who sometimes swam with his shirt on. Not anymore! again, I do still have a gut, but not nearly to the extent that I did, and I don't feel as self-conscious as I did.
How did I do it? "practice, practice, practice". oh wait, wrong saying :) i meant "diet and exercise". Shortly after I bought my condo in the beginning of 2009, I also got a treadmill. I have been using it fairly regularly, about 4-5 times a week, for about 45 minutes a day. Since I have it in my living room next to my tv, it actually helps me get through the stuff recorded on my DVR, I can watch an hour long show (skipping through commercials) in about the time that I burn 500 calories according to the treadmill (when walking at 3mph with an incline of 10). Now, to the diet part- I have been trying to eat healthier (for the most part), such as eating salads instead of junk food, and whole wheat bread instead of plain white. Ok, i still eat junk food once in a while, and I do enjoy my fried foods (buffalo chicken!!!) and sweets, but I think the exercise makes up for that, and I don't go out to eat as much as I did a few years ago (McD's, BK, Wendy's etc). I don't eat things like an entire large bag of Doritos for dinner, like I have done in the past, or having a late night snack every night right before going to bed. Yes, it is hard to resist the urges to pig out, and I do sometimes give in and have way more food than I should, but the important thing is to get right back into it the next day and do some self-discipline.
So anyway, enjoy the pictures of the wii fit screen that shows the progress. In the first pic, note that at the far left, I was on the verge between "overweight" and "obese" as defined by the Wii. In the second, I am now about 5 pounds below the "overweight" area, into the "normal" range.
Today during lunchtime (while working from home) I weighed myself on the Wii Fit, as I have periodically since I got it a couple years ago. Apparently, since the last time I weighed myself, I've lost 2.4 pounds :)
Since I got the wii fit, I have lost a total of 41.9 pounds. The first weigh in way back in March of 2008 was 225.3. Today's was 183.4. So in approximately 30 months, I have lost an average of 0.71 pounds per month. I know that doesn't seem like a lot, but when it happens over the course of 2.5 years, I guess it really adds up (or down?).
So guess what? I'm REALLY frikkin happy! Yeah, I still have a gut, and I think I would need to have lipo to have a totally flat stomach, and I'll never have abs like The Situation (yeah, I made a Jersey Shore reference, sue me!) but I look a hell of a lot better with my shirt off than I used to. In fact, while I'm talking about it, I used to be terribly embarrassed to go swimming at the beach, water park, etc. and i was one of the fat kids who sometimes swam with his shirt on. Not anymore! again, I do still have a gut, but not nearly to the extent that I did, and I don't feel as self-conscious as I did.
How did I do it? "practice, practice, practice". oh wait, wrong saying :) i meant "diet and exercise". Shortly after I bought my condo in the beginning of 2009, I also got a treadmill. I have been using it fairly regularly, about 4-5 times a week, for about 45 minutes a day. Since I have it in my living room next to my tv, it actually helps me get through the stuff recorded on my DVR, I can watch an hour long show (skipping through commercials) in about the time that I burn 500 calories according to the treadmill (when walking at 3mph with an incline of 10). Now, to the diet part- I have been trying to eat healthier (for the most part), such as eating salads instead of junk food, and whole wheat bread instead of plain white. Ok, i still eat junk food once in a while, and I do enjoy my fried foods (buffalo chicken!!!) and sweets, but I think the exercise makes up for that, and I don't go out to eat as much as I did a few years ago (McD's, BK, Wendy's etc). I don't eat things like an entire large bag of Doritos for dinner, like I have done in the past, or having a late night snack every night right before going to bed. Yes, it is hard to resist the urges to pig out, and I do sometimes give in and have way more food than I should, but the important thing is to get right back into it the next day and do some self-discipline.
So anyway, enjoy the pictures of the wii fit screen that shows the progress. In the first pic, note that at the far left, I was on the verge between "overweight" and "obese" as defined by the Wii. In the second, I am now about 5 pounds below the "overweight" area, into the "normal" range.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
house dreams
EDIT: Well, I got an email from my Realtor that there was a cash buyer and they have a signed contract already, so everything below is back to being a dream...
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So I was on a real estate website the other day, and I came across a really really cheap place....as in, cheaper than my condo, and more than twice the square footage. It looked like a fixer-upper, but i was intrigued.
went over to check the place out, it's a couple miles further from work, and right near the train tracks, but those aren't deal breakers. especially with the size of the place, I can imagine what I can do with it.
I set up a meeting with the realtor I used for my condo, and went over there last night, it definitely needs a lot of work, and would pretty much need to be completely gutted and redone, but I think I might be able to handle it, especially if I can pay someone else to do most of the actual work and I can continue being lazy :)
I took a few pictures and came back to the condo to ponder....
hmmm, if I can get the financing to buy it, plus money to renovate it, I could make the house exactly the way I want it! Yeah, you know what, what the hell, I'll go for it!
Now, a little about the place: it is a foreclosure, bank owned, and the configuration is really really REALLY weird. When first entering, there's what appears to be a waiting room, complete with counter/desk on one side, and a bench along the opposite wall. There is also a bedroom on the first floor that has a closet with a door that leads back out to the hallway. There are a couple of other rooms that I have labeled as "??? rooms", because I have no idea what the fuck they are for! Otherwise, it seems like a partially normal house that someone was also using as a partially commercial store/office, etc.
So....yeah, I think I might be strapped for cash until I can renovate the place, move in, and either sell or rent out my condo, but I think I'm gonna try for it.
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EDIT: pics I took the other day uploaded to: http://techsupportisnopicnic.blogspot.com/p/house-pics.html
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So I was on a real estate website the other day, and I came across a really really cheap place....as in, cheaper than my condo, and more than twice the square footage. It looked like a fixer-upper, but i was intrigued.
went over to check the place out, it's a couple miles further from work, and right near the train tracks, but those aren't deal breakers. especially with the size of the place, I can imagine what I can do with it.
I set up a meeting with the realtor I used for my condo, and went over there last night, it definitely needs a lot of work, and would pretty much need to be completely gutted and redone, but I think I might be able to handle it, especially if I can pay someone else to do most of the actual work and I can continue being lazy :)
I took a few pictures and came back to the condo to ponder....
hmmm, if I can get the financing to buy it, plus money to renovate it, I could make the house exactly the way I want it! Yeah, you know what, what the hell, I'll go for it!
Now, a little about the place: it is a foreclosure, bank owned, and the configuration is really really REALLY weird. When first entering, there's what appears to be a waiting room, complete with counter/desk on one side, and a bench along the opposite wall. There is also a bedroom on the first floor that has a closet with a door that leads back out to the hallway. There are a couple of other rooms that I have labeled as "??? rooms", because I have no idea what the fuck they are for! Otherwise, it seems like a partially normal house that someone was also using as a partially commercial store/office, etc.
For anyone who I talked to about the condo when I was working on buying that, you know I created an amazing Microsoft Paint drawing of the layout of the condo. Well, now I present my awesome MS Paint drawing of the house:
So that's what it looks like....now, keep in mind, the rooms are really weird, so I would definitely want to redo most of it. Now, here's my artist's conception of what I think I would want out of the place when the renovations are done:
The upstairs would be the "man cave" area, with (eventually) a pool table and arcade machine, and would probably be where I put my treadmill. The library/den would have a gigantic bookshelf with enough room for all my books. The living room would have the tv/video games, etc. and I would even have space for a real dining room table in the dining room, instead of having an eat-in kitchen. and of course, my bedroom would have a walk-in closet big enough to hide all the illegal stuff I own (j/k mom!!)
Oh, and I also didn't mention the outside of the place, there's a couple of weird areas, one which has cinder blocks placed out in a rectangle which has pipes/faucets sticking up out of it, I have no idea what that is for, I would definitely need to hire a landscaper to fix that...there's another area that has a chain link fence around it, and has a paved area in the middle. I have a feeling it may have been a doggy area because of the fence. I think I would want to pave that whole section and put up a basketball hoop so I could get some exercise outside once in a while. It wouldn't be quite a half-court, maybe more like a 1/3rd court, but it's a perfect area for it.
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EDIT: pics I took the other day uploaded to: http://techsupportisnopicnic.blogspot.com/p/house-pics.html
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Saturday, July 17, 2010
I hate kids
As part of my overall "I hate everyone" mentality, I specifically hate kids.... so:
My list of reasons not to have kids
(Note, this list has contributions from women too, marked where appropriate.)
1. Loud
2. Smelly
3. Expensive
4. weight gain (women)
5. moodiness (women)
6. diapers
7. constant interruption
8. lack of sleep
9. no life of your own
10. stretch marks (women)
11. day care
12. kid's friends
13. being a chauffeur
14. paying for college
15. brats/obnoxious
16. teen years
17. perceived loss of IQ of parents ("oh look at the cute baby, cootchie cootchie coo!"/other baby talk... yeah, you sound like an idiot)
18. constant worrying
19. Elmo
20. children's music
21. children's tv shows
22. Teletubbies (needed a seperate number for this one)
23. they don't listen
24. they get in the way
25. people get annoyed at you for constantly talking (bragging) about them
26. baby bodily fluids
27. ungrateful
28. can't drink for 9 months (women)
29. baby poop
30. breast feeding (women)
31. parents need to be mature (no fart jokes!)
32. prenatal vitamins suck (women)
If you have any other reasons not listed here, let me know!
My list of reasons not to have kids
(Note, this list has contributions from women too, marked where appropriate.)
1. Loud
2. Smelly
3. Expensive
4. weight gain (women)
5. moodiness (women)
6. diapers
7. constant interruption
8. lack of sleep
9. no life of your own
10. stretch marks (women)
11. day care
12. kid's friends
13. being a chauffeur
14. paying for college
15. brats/obnoxious
16. teen years
17. perceived loss of IQ of parents ("oh look at the cute baby, cootchie cootchie coo!"/other baby talk... yeah, you sound like an idiot)
18. constant worrying
19. Elmo
20. children's music
21. children's tv shows
22. Teletubbies (needed a seperate number for this one)
23. they don't listen
24. they get in the way
25. people get annoyed at you for constantly talking (bragging) about them
26. baby bodily fluids
27. ungrateful
28. can't drink for 9 months (women)
29. baby poop
30. breast feeding (women)
31. parents need to be mature (no fart jokes!)
32. prenatal vitamins suck (women)
If you have any other reasons not listed here, let me know!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Anatomical anomaly
So here's something that I've been wondering about...
the human body is symmetrical along the median plane (for the most part) and there are many parts that there are two of, one on each half of the body. Many of them make sense:
ears- so you can hear on either side of you, and you can easily turn your head to position yourself to tell where a specific sound is coming from, without even thinking about it.
eyes- near the front of the head, just enough to the side to have a wide range of vision to the sides of your head, but facing the same direction enough to have an overlap to get good depth perception.
hands/feet, fingers/toes, etc- two hands help you grasp things on either side of your body, two feet to help you balance.
all this is basic anatomy, and not just with humans, but most animals. you can split an animal straight down the middle and take a look at the basic structure of the two halves and they are equal. I'm not talking internal organs here, though some of those are mirrored too (lungs, ovaries/testicles, kidneys). nobody disputes or questions any of this.
my problem is......nostrils!
why do we have two nostrils? I can understand eyes, ears, etc because there are practical purposes as noted above. but two nostrils? I don't see the evolutionary benefit of having two smaller nose holes instead of one bigger one:
-wouldn't air flow to an animal's lungs be more efficient with one giant nostril than two smaller ones?
-I would think it would be more difficult to clog one giant nostril than two smaller ones (how many times have you blown your nose in the last week?)
-there's more skin/surface area with two smaller nostrils, isn't it bad enough that we lose a good portion of body heat through our head, we have to have more surface area to do so?
I think we should be a race of nasa-clopses with one giant nostril who could breathe faster and not have to spend as much on kleenex. AAAAAACHOOOOOO!
edit: hahaha now all the random ads are about medical books and anatomy :)
the human body is symmetrical along the median plane (for the most part) and there are many parts that there are two of, one on each half of the body. Many of them make sense:
ears- so you can hear on either side of you, and you can easily turn your head to position yourself to tell where a specific sound is coming from, without even thinking about it.
eyes- near the front of the head, just enough to the side to have a wide range of vision to the sides of your head, but facing the same direction enough to have an overlap to get good depth perception.
hands/feet, fingers/toes, etc- two hands help you grasp things on either side of your body, two feet to help you balance.
all this is basic anatomy, and not just with humans, but most animals. you can split an animal straight down the middle and take a look at the basic structure of the two halves and they are equal. I'm not talking internal organs here, though some of those are mirrored too (lungs, ovaries/testicles, kidneys). nobody disputes or questions any of this.
my problem is......nostrils!
why do we have two nostrils? I can understand eyes, ears, etc because there are practical purposes as noted above. but two nostrils? I don't see the evolutionary benefit of having two smaller nose holes instead of one bigger one:
-wouldn't air flow to an animal's lungs be more efficient with one giant nostril than two smaller ones?
-I would think it would be more difficult to clog one giant nostril than two smaller ones (how many times have you blown your nose in the last week?)
-there's more skin/surface area with two smaller nostrils, isn't it bad enough that we lose a good portion of body heat through our head, we have to have more surface area to do so?
I think we should be a race of nasa-clopses with one giant nostril who could breathe faster and not have to spend as much on kleenex. AAAAAACHOOOOOO!
edit: hahaha now all the random ads are about medical books and anatomy :)
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Fear and loathing (and girls, girls, girls!) in Las Vegas
As you probably know, I recently went to Vegas for a week. While I was there, I did some gambling (lost a total of about $30), saw some shows, and generally had a good time. Also while I was there, I saw a lot of T & A. There were girls there who may not have been prostitutes, but who were dressed like them. There were also girls who definitely WERE prostitutes. Since it's legal there, they have no reason to hide, and in fact, it is openly flaunted. There are people on the streetcorners handing out "business cards" with phone numbers on them. there were girls who wore clothes that barely covered anything, I've seen bathing suits that covered more. there were groups of girls hanging out together who were all dressed up (or down?) and showing a lot of skin, etc. and now, this is what started me thinking.
The groups of girls I saw seemed to have one thing in common- in groups of 3 or more, there was always one fat and/or ugly girl. There would be two hot girls and next to them, or in between them, was a girl who weighed as much as the other two combined. Either that, or the girls were all skinny, but one was really ugly. I know it sounds mean, but you all know it's true!
So I decided, this needs to be defined as a rule. The Fat Friend Rule: Whenever there is a group of 3 or more girls, there will be a fat one.
After seeing numerous examples in Vegas, where there were lots of groups of girls walking around, I would say about 80% of the time, the rule applied. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, sometimes, there are just a bunch of really hot girls who hang out together. However, there was a significant portion where the standard Fat Friend rule didn't apply, all the girls were skinny, but this led me to come up with an addendum to the Fat Friend rule, the Ugly Friend corollary: If there is no fat one, there is usually an ugly one. This covered about 95% of the groups that I saw.
Now, a rule generally is 100% applicable, so we're not there yet. But think about it, when there is a group of girls, and none of them are fat or ugly, they are probably all shallow and vain. So they are ugly ON THE INSIDE! So the rule does apply after all, it's just much more difficult to see.
Now, I'm not purposefully trying to be sexist here (although I can definitely see it being taken that way), and I'm not saying that this same rule (or a similar one) doesn't apply to guys, I'm sure there is probably an equivalent rule for guys as well, I just don't pay attention to groups of men and evaluate them in a looks/attractiveness kind of way. Ladies- opinions? Is there a fat/ugly guy rule? Let me know your thoughts!
The groups of girls I saw seemed to have one thing in common- in groups of 3 or more, there was always one fat and/or ugly girl. There would be two hot girls and next to them, or in between them, was a girl who weighed as much as the other two combined. Either that, or the girls were all skinny, but one was really ugly. I know it sounds mean, but you all know it's true!
So I decided, this needs to be defined as a rule. The Fat Friend Rule: Whenever there is a group of 3 or more girls, there will be a fat one.
After seeing numerous examples in Vegas, where there were lots of groups of girls walking around, I would say about 80% of the time, the rule applied. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, sometimes, there are just a bunch of really hot girls who hang out together. However, there was a significant portion where the standard Fat Friend rule didn't apply, all the girls were skinny, but this led me to come up with an addendum to the Fat Friend rule, the Ugly Friend corollary: If there is no fat one, there is usually an ugly one. This covered about 95% of the groups that I saw.
Now, a rule generally is 100% applicable, so we're not there yet. But think about it, when there is a group of girls, and none of them are fat or ugly, they are probably all shallow and vain. So they are ugly ON THE INSIDE! So the rule does apply after all, it's just much more difficult to see.
Now, I'm not purposefully trying to be sexist here (although I can definitely see it being taken that way), and I'm not saying that this same rule (or a similar one) doesn't apply to guys, I'm sure there is probably an equivalent rule for guys as well, I just don't pay attention to groups of men and evaluate them in a looks/attractiveness kind of way. Ladies- opinions? Is there a fat/ugly guy rule? Let me know your thoughts!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Spamalot
just got the following email in the spam folder of my gmail... If gmail has "temporarily prevented access" to my account, how was I able to log in to the account to read the message? come on spammers, you can do better than that! also, you spelled believe wrong.
-----------
Dear Customer,
This e-mail was send by gmail.com to notify you that we have temporanly prevented access to your account.
We have reasons to beleive that your account may have been accessed by someone else. Please run attached file and Follow instructions.
---------
This one is definitely gonna go in the book of spam emails that I will write someday, chronicling the ridiculousness of spam emails.
-----------
Dear Customer,
This e-mail was send by gmail.com to notify you that we have temporanly prevented access to your account.
We have reasons to beleive that your account may have been accessed by someone else. Please run attached file and Follow instructions.
---------
This one is definitely gonna go in the book of spam emails that I will write someday, chronicling the ridiculousness of spam emails.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Social networking experiment and possible cash cow?
So I want to try something here....
tell me in person, via a comment at the bottom, or on facebook/AIM, etc if you actually read this blog. I just want to know how many people actually read on a regular basis.
if you find my humor worth at least a dollar, please let me know and send paypal payments by clicking on the fancy new paypal Donate button over there somewhere ---------------->
I would like to see how much further I need to go and how much funnier I need to be so that I can quit my job and do this full time :) j/k! I couldn't do that to my friends at work who would have a collective nervous breakdown when I quit :)
and you don't really have to donate, but if you feel a dollar burning a hole in your pocket, I would always be glad to take it off your hands. i really just want to know how many people read this, cause the web counter that i put at the bottom kinda sucks. Maybe I'll change it to register only unique hits? any suggestions?
Thumper update: Last night, I don't know what the hell she was doing, but it sounded like she was moving furniture at midnight, then again at 4:50am. No, I didn't pull out the airhorn, I was tempted to, but I want to save that only for the two-person co-thumping that is more fun to interrupt :) On a related note, if anyone knows of a cheap house nearby, let me know, I'll be glad to take that off your hands as well!
FYI- I'm working on a big posting, that may grow into something larger, depending on the number of ideas and whether people actually care. Update coming soon!!
off to take some IBUP200T and probably chill with the tv and sleep early.
tell me in person, via a comment at the bottom, or on facebook/AIM, etc if you actually read this blog. I just want to know how many people actually read on a regular basis.
if you find my humor worth at least a dollar, please let me know and send paypal payments by clicking on the fancy new paypal Donate button over there somewhere ---------------->
I would like to see how much further I need to go and how much funnier I need to be so that I can quit my job and do this full time :) j/k! I couldn't do that to my friends at work who would have a collective nervous breakdown when I quit :)
and you don't really have to donate, but if you feel a dollar burning a hole in your pocket, I would always be glad to take it off your hands. i really just want to know how many people read this, cause the web counter that i put at the bottom kinda sucks. Maybe I'll change it to register only unique hits? any suggestions?
Thumper update: Last night, I don't know what the hell she was doing, but it sounded like she was moving furniture at midnight, then again at 4:50am. No, I didn't pull out the airhorn, I was tempted to, but I want to save that only for the two-person co-thumping that is more fun to interrupt :) On a related note, if anyone knows of a cheap house nearby, let me know, I'll be glad to take that off your hands as well!
FYI- I'm working on a big posting, that may grow into something larger, depending on the number of ideas and whether people actually care. Update coming soon!!
off to take some IBUP200T and probably chill with the tv and sleep early.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Super Incredible Wonder Fantastic Green and Silver Iron Ghost Dare Bat-Spider-Ant-Cat X Avenger League of Punishing Men
Have you noticed how many super hero movies there have been recently? In the last 10 years, there have been more than all previous movie history combined. This link seems to prove my point. Check the list, going as far back as 1941, to 1998, there's only 18. Now look at the rest of the list, from 2000 on up- 35 of them. Now, some of those I don't really consider "super hero movies", like The Incredibles or Super Hero Movie, which just mocks all real super hero movies, but still. I'm talking movies based on a comic book character. And look at the list of upcoming movies, including multiple sequels (spiderman 4 and 5, Ghost Rider 2, multiple X-Men, etc), in just the next couple of years!
Who do I think is the cause of the glut of super hero movies? ....ME!
Well, not me really, but my generation. The 18-35 demographic, which is traditionally the one that spends the most discretionary income on useless things, like movies. We grew up with these comic books in the 90's which was a good time for comics, and people are paying attention to us now. WE DEMAND MORE SUPER HERO MOVIES!!!!
Anyway, I think it's pretty cool that we get to see all these movies about super heroes that I grew up reading comics of, but I really just wanted to post this to see how many super hero references I could combine in the title of the post.
On a related topic, there also seem to be a good number of movies based on video games now. Years ago, there was the live action mario brothers movie, which sucked ass, and a few other ones, going as far back as Tron. But again, in the last few years, there have been a bunch more. Just this week, Prince of Persia came out, one of my old favorite games that I played in middle school. In addition to the list of movies based on actual games, there have been movies which had video games as a main subject, such as Grandma's Boy, The King of Kong, and Gamer, in the last few years.
Hooray for video games! That is all.
Who do I think is the cause of the glut of super hero movies? ....ME!
Well, not me really, but my generation. The 18-35 demographic, which is traditionally the one that spends the most discretionary income on useless things, like movies. We grew up with these comic books in the 90's which was a good time for comics, and people are paying attention to us now. WE DEMAND MORE SUPER HERO MOVIES!!!!
Anyway, I think it's pretty cool that we get to see all these movies about super heroes that I grew up reading comics of, but I really just wanted to post this to see how many super hero references I could combine in the title of the post.
On a related topic, there also seem to be a good number of movies based on video games now. Years ago, there was the live action mario brothers movie, which sucked ass, and a few other ones, going as far back as Tron. But again, in the last few years, there have been a bunch more. Just this week, Prince of Persia came out, one of my old favorite games that I played in middle school. In addition to the list of movies based on actual games, there have been movies which had video games as a main subject, such as Grandma's Boy, The King of Kong, and Gamer, in the last few years.
Hooray for video games! That is all.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Sluggish Ugly Vehicles Suck
this post has been a LONG time coming...anyone who has heard my rants about SUVs can probably skip this.
I hate SUVs.
and not just the SUVs themselves, but the people who drive them. now, before I get into it more, yes, I drive a Prius, and yes, I care about the environment, but that's not the entire reason I hate SUVs and their drivers. There's a few reasons:
1. SUVs are generally much larger than necessary. I gave as an example the Ford Excursion. There were several versions, and the SMALLEST engine was a 5.4L V8. The curb weight is over 7000 lbs. Now, I understand that there are people who have large families (the Duggars have a friggin BUS, for goodness sake) and there are people who need to haul around a lot of stuff on a regular basis. My ire is not directed towards those people. If someone has a valid reason for needing a large vehicle, that's fine. What really gets me is the people who have a large SUV, are single, no kids, and work in an office all day. What possible reason do you have for needing a vehicle that large? If you were a carpenter, fine (my dad is, and he drives a truck. I understand that). If you run a daycare and routinely drive around with 10 kids, fine. But when I see a young woman (not that i'm trying to be sexist, but they are usually shorter), who can barely see over the steering wheel of this hulking behemoth, with no kids in sight, nobody else in the vehicle whatsoever, and the back row(s) of seats completely empty, as well as an empty "cargo" area in the back, I wonder, what possible use does the back 2/3rds of the vehicle get? Couldn't they get where they are going in a midsize passenger car, instead of something that is classified as a truck? I understand that people do have weekend/after work activities that may require a larger vehicle (boating, off-roading, etc). but if you have the money to afford a vehicle that large, and the gas it consumes, I would think you should be able to afford a small car for daily commuting too. That leads into my next point:
2. Gas. With gas prices on a rollercoaster that is only going to keep climbing, why drive a vehicle that gets 10mpg? If you can only afford one car, and you NEED a large truck regularly, then I can understand that. But, if you have a second car, which might be smaller and get better mileage, why not use that one AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, and save the gas guzzler to drive only when you need that extra seating/cargo capacity/towing capability? and if you don't need the extra stuff that a truck or SUV provides, why drive it and use more gas (read: spend more money) than you need to? With a typical small car, you can go twice (or 3 times) as far with the same amount of gas. If you are by yourself most of the time in your car (how often during rush hour do you see more than one person in a car?) why not get the most distance for your money?
2b. For the last few years, gas prices have been anywhere between $2-4/gallon, but have been holding fairly steady with a few exceptions (oil spills, refinery shutdowns, etc) But if you think about it, how much longer can that go on? eventually, oil WILL RUN OUT, and we won't have any more. For over 100 years, we have been pumping it out of the ground as fast as we can, and there's only so much that exists. Eventually, it will be (and has been) getting harder to find, harder to drill for, and lower quality than the stuff that came bubbling out of Jed Clampett's backyard. I've read several books on the subject, and all records indicate that Peak Oil (that is, the point where half of all available oil in the world has been used) will happen soon.
Look at the graphs on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_oil Notice how the ones about production in the United States look like a regular bell curve, with a midpoint high and then a down slope? That's the point when the US was unable to find enough oil to increase the amount that we were producing, and when the amount of oil imports drastically increased, even as consumption also increased. Rather than people saying, hey wait a minute, we have to buy more of this stuff from other countries, maybe we could try to conserve and not have to use so much? People buy second, third, fourth cars, and increasingly larger ones. Now look at the graph for the entire world. See how it generally follows the line of the US graph up to the "peak" point around now? What do you think is going to happen after the entire world starts going on that down slope? When it happened in the US, we could buy more from other countries (ie. Saudi Arabia) But when Saudi Arabia reaches their peak, where are we going to go when the world is maxed out on the amount of oil we can pump and we can't find any more? It's gonna get harder to pump out what's left, it'll get more expensive, and the world is gonna go to shit unless we can find alternatives. I could go on and on about this more (and I probably will in a future post) but we'll leave it at that for now.
3. What was I talking about again? oh yeah, I hate people who drive SUVs. Another thing that annoys me about them is the physical dimensions on the road. With most SUVs, if you are in a regular car behind them, all you can see ahead is...their ass. In typical highway driving, 55-65 mph, you need to see far enough ahead of you so that you can avoid a crash (or see a speed trap). With a large SUV, which generally have tinted windows in the back, you can't see ahead of them, above them, or through them. You have to either get out of the lane and hope there isn't a large SUV in the other lane too, or back off far enough that you can see around them (which causes traffic backups when people have to stay 50 car lengths behind the next person). If you don't back off or change lanes, the SUV is causing a potential road hazard which could cause a crash.
The width of them (or perceived width by the driver) also causes problems on small roads. On a narrow road, where there IS enough room for two cars to pass each other, with an inexperienced SUV driver, they think they are wider than they really are, which causes them to routinely cross the double yellow line down the MIDDLE of the road. This causes hazards for oncoming cars, who might have to swerve off the road to avoid being hit. This has almost happened to me before, and I've only been saved by the SUV driver seeing that there was an oncoming car, and moving back over onto their own side of the double yellow, but it only takes one time when they DON'T see the person, to have a horrific accident.
4. Environment. I can go on and on about this as well, and I agree that ALL gasoline powered vehicles are at fault, but SUVs do produce much more CO, CO2, and whatever other harmful gases, than smaller cars do. One of the problems here is that the largest SUVs are classified as "light trucks", which have less stringent regulations and less government oversight on gas mileage as well as emissions, than passenger cars do. Some SUVs (such as the Hummer H2) don't have to even have EPA mileage testing done, or displayed on the window sticker. I guess that is a fault of the government, who doesn't see the need to hold them to the same testing standards, the consumer, who doesn't demand the same information as other cars, and the dealers, who try to obfuscate the problems that SUVs have compared to smaller cars.
That's all for now, but other minor points- safety of SUV drivers isn't any better in a larger, heavier, higher-up vehicle; more dangerous for other drivers; harder to control; rollovers, etc.
I hate SUVs.
I hate SUVs.
and not just the SUVs themselves, but the people who drive them. now, before I get into it more, yes, I drive a Prius, and yes, I care about the environment, but that's not the entire reason I hate SUVs and their drivers. There's a few reasons:
1. SUVs are generally much larger than necessary. I gave as an example the Ford Excursion. There were several versions, and the SMALLEST engine was a 5.4L V8. The curb weight is over 7000 lbs. Now, I understand that there are people who have large families (the Duggars have a friggin BUS, for goodness sake) and there are people who need to haul around a lot of stuff on a regular basis. My ire is not directed towards those people. If someone has a valid reason for needing a large vehicle, that's fine. What really gets me is the people who have a large SUV, are single, no kids, and work in an office all day. What possible reason do you have for needing a vehicle that large? If you were a carpenter, fine (my dad is, and he drives a truck. I understand that). If you run a daycare and routinely drive around with 10 kids, fine. But when I see a young woman (not that i'm trying to be sexist, but they are usually shorter), who can barely see over the steering wheel of this hulking behemoth, with no kids in sight, nobody else in the vehicle whatsoever, and the back row(s) of seats completely empty, as well as an empty "cargo" area in the back, I wonder, what possible use does the back 2/3rds of the vehicle get? Couldn't they get where they are going in a midsize passenger car, instead of something that is classified as a truck? I understand that people do have weekend/after work activities that may require a larger vehicle (boating, off-roading, etc). but if you have the money to afford a vehicle that large, and the gas it consumes, I would think you should be able to afford a small car for daily commuting too. That leads into my next point:
2. Gas. With gas prices on a rollercoaster that is only going to keep climbing, why drive a vehicle that gets 10mpg? If you can only afford one car, and you NEED a large truck regularly, then I can understand that. But, if you have a second car, which might be smaller and get better mileage, why not use that one AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, and save the gas guzzler to drive only when you need that extra seating/cargo capacity/towing capability? and if you don't need the extra stuff that a truck or SUV provides, why drive it and use more gas (read: spend more money) than you need to? With a typical small car, you can go twice (or 3 times) as far with the same amount of gas. If you are by yourself most of the time in your car (how often during rush hour do you see more than one person in a car?) why not get the most distance for your money?
2b. For the last few years, gas prices have been anywhere between $2-4/gallon, but have been holding fairly steady with a few exceptions (oil spills, refinery shutdowns, etc) But if you think about it, how much longer can that go on? eventually, oil WILL RUN OUT, and we won't have any more. For over 100 years, we have been pumping it out of the ground as fast as we can, and there's only so much that exists. Eventually, it will be (and has been) getting harder to find, harder to drill for, and lower quality than the stuff that came bubbling out of Jed Clampett's backyard. I've read several books on the subject, and all records indicate that Peak Oil (that is, the point where half of all available oil in the world has been used) will happen soon.
Look at the graphs on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peak_oil Notice how the ones about production in the United States look like a regular bell curve, with a midpoint high and then a down slope? That's the point when the US was unable to find enough oil to increase the amount that we were producing, and when the amount of oil imports drastically increased, even as consumption also increased. Rather than people saying, hey wait a minute, we have to buy more of this stuff from other countries, maybe we could try to conserve and not have to use so much? People buy second, third, fourth cars, and increasingly larger ones. Now look at the graph for the entire world. See how it generally follows the line of the US graph up to the "peak" point around now? What do you think is going to happen after the entire world starts going on that down slope? When it happened in the US, we could buy more from other countries (ie. Saudi Arabia) But when Saudi Arabia reaches their peak, where are we going to go when the world is maxed out on the amount of oil we can pump and we can't find any more? It's gonna get harder to pump out what's left, it'll get more expensive, and the world is gonna go to shit unless we can find alternatives. I could go on and on about this more (and I probably will in a future post) but we'll leave it at that for now.
3. What was I talking about again? oh yeah, I hate people who drive SUVs. Another thing that annoys me about them is the physical dimensions on the road. With most SUVs, if you are in a regular car behind them, all you can see ahead is...their ass. In typical highway driving, 55-65 mph, you need to see far enough ahead of you so that you can avoid a crash (or see a speed trap). With a large SUV, which generally have tinted windows in the back, you can't see ahead of them, above them, or through them. You have to either get out of the lane and hope there isn't a large SUV in the other lane too, or back off far enough that you can see around them (which causes traffic backups when people have to stay 50 car lengths behind the next person). If you don't back off or change lanes, the SUV is causing a potential road hazard which could cause a crash.
The width of them (or perceived width by the driver) also causes problems on small roads. On a narrow road, where there IS enough room for two cars to pass each other, with an inexperienced SUV driver, they think they are wider than they really are, which causes them to routinely cross the double yellow line down the MIDDLE of the road. This causes hazards for oncoming cars, who might have to swerve off the road to avoid being hit. This has almost happened to me before, and I've only been saved by the SUV driver seeing that there was an oncoming car, and moving back over onto their own side of the double yellow, but it only takes one time when they DON'T see the person, to have a horrific accident.
4. Environment. I can go on and on about this as well, and I agree that ALL gasoline powered vehicles are at fault, but SUVs do produce much more CO, CO2, and whatever other harmful gases, than smaller cars do. One of the problems here is that the largest SUVs are classified as "light trucks", which have less stringent regulations and less government oversight on gas mileage as well as emissions, than passenger cars do. Some SUVs (such as the Hummer H2) don't have to even have EPA mileage testing done, or displayed on the window sticker. I guess that is a fault of the government, who doesn't see the need to hold them to the same testing standards, the consumer, who doesn't demand the same information as other cars, and the dealers, who try to obfuscate the problems that SUVs have compared to smaller cars.
That's all for now, but other minor points- safety of SUV drivers isn't any better in a larger, heavier, higher-up vehicle; more dangerous for other drivers; harder to control; rollovers, etc.
I hate SUVs.
Monday, May 17, 2010
In-Store Screw Up?
So my next post was going to be a rant about SUVs, but I'll save that for another time. I wanted to share an experience with Best Buy's In-Store Pickup. So on a weekday morning, around 9am or so, I go on bestbuy.com, and purchase an ipod touch. I select in-store pickup, as I needed it that day. around 9:25 or so, I get an email stating that the product is available for in-store pickup as soon as the store opens (at 10am). Ok fine, I'll go some time after 10am. I was busy doing other stuff, and didn't actually get to the store until around 11:30, so that gives the employees 2 hours from the time that the email said it was ready, to pick it out and put it on the shelf in the customer service area, right? In and out in 5 minutes hopefully! we'll see about that...
So I get to the store, go in, and present a printed-out copy of the email stating that it's ready for pickup, and the paper has my name, order #, etc. and also SAYS WHAT I AM PICKING UP. So there's only one guy at the register, and 3 people waiting in line. Fine, I'll wait a few minutes, no big deal. (even though there were 3 other employees in sight, who were standing around in a group talking to each other, and 2 empty registers in Customer Service, but we won't get into that) So finally it's my turn, I hand the guy the paper, and say I'm picking up an order. He says ok, glances at the sheet, and types some stuff in the computer. He asks me what I ordered. umm, shouldn't it say that on the computer? At the very least, I know it says that on the sheet I just handed you. I'm not gonna start throwing a fit, so I tell him it's an Ipod Touch 32 gig. He then turns around and looks at the shelves. There's no ipod there (I could've told him that already as I couldn't see it while I was waiting in line). So he goes and types a few more things in the computer, and then says "it's not on the shelf, I'm gonna have to go find someone to help you". Strike 1, it wasn't set aside, when the email told me it was, and you guys had an hour and a half from the time the store opened, to go get it.
So he walks away, goes to talk to the 3 other employees who are just standing around talking, and then comes back over to me and says "right this way". Ok great, now I can get it and get out of here. He brings me over to a random desk with a huge fat guy sitting at it (another employee who was not actually doing anything). Types some more stuff into the computer there, and prints out a sheet of paper that has stuff about in store pickup. it has a signature line at the bottom, he tells me to sign it and I'll get the ipod. I glance it over, boilerplate legal mumbo-jumbo, not liable for ___, giving best buy your first born, etc.... so i sign it. He then takes me back over to the customer service desk and mumbles something about unlocking. He gets back behind the desk (so I couldn't punch him?) and starts talking on the headset that all the employees are wearing. In the middle, he asks me again, what I'm picking up. Didn't I just tell you 5 minutes ago? And...aren't you still holding the paper that says what it is? Ipod touch 32 gig. So 5 minutes later, someone comes over and says to the first guy, yeah, we need someone to unlock the cage. he explains to me that ipods and similar expensive portable devices are kept in a small metal locker/cage thing right at the front of the store where the "asset management associate" (aka Best Buy Bouncer, aka guy who checks receipts) stands. what follows is a transcript of their conversation:
1: "so where's the key?"
2: "i dunno"
1: "well don't you have it?"
2: "no"
1: "does tony have it?"
2: "tony's not working today"
1: "what about ben?"
2: "umm maybe but I dunno where he is"
1: "isn't he answering on the mic?"
2: "nope, already tried"
1: "is he on break?"
2: "no his shift just started"
1: "is he in the shitter?"
2: "i'm not going in to check"
1: "neither am i"
2: "well what do we do?"
1: "go ask john"
{john turns out to be the Bouncer}
2: {yells over to Bouncer} "hey john, do you have the key for the cage?"
john: "nope, i'm not a manager"
2: "do you know who has the key?"
john: "maybe riley does?"
2: "ok thanks!"
2: {on headset} "riley, do you have the key?"
{inaudible static}
2: "can you come to the front of the store please?"
1: {to me} "what are you picking up again?"
me: {for the third time to the same person} "ipod touch 32 gig"
Strike 2, you have the memory of a goldfish.
So finally the person who actually DOES have the key arrives at the front of the store, and unlocks the cage. He gets the ipod out and brings it to #1 at the desk. He scans the barcode and gives me the ipod (finally) and says "you're all set". umm ok... on the paper (in the pickup email) it says you need to check my ID and the credit card that I used. "nope, we don't need to do that, that was the old procedure". (old since 2 hours ago? it clearly states I need to bring in my ID and credit card so you can verify) and where's my receipt? what if the Bouncer stops me as I'm leaving? what if i want to return it? Strike 3, no verification of who I am. I could've walked in there with a piece of paper that had gibberish written on it and a Best Buy logo at the top, and walked out of there (after half an hour) with a free ipod touch! or alternately, I could've told the guy that I was getting a 64 gig touch instead of 32. I would've had to tell him multiple times, but I bet I would be able to walk out with it!
whats the point of doing in store pickup if it would've been faster to just walk in the store and buy it?
I hate stupid people....
So I get to the store, go in, and present a printed-out copy of the email stating that it's ready for pickup, and the paper has my name, order #, etc. and also SAYS WHAT I AM PICKING UP. So there's only one guy at the register, and 3 people waiting in line. Fine, I'll wait a few minutes, no big deal. (even though there were 3 other employees in sight, who were standing around in a group talking to each other, and 2 empty registers in Customer Service, but we won't get into that) So finally it's my turn, I hand the guy the paper, and say I'm picking up an order. He says ok, glances at the sheet, and types some stuff in the computer. He asks me what I ordered. umm, shouldn't it say that on the computer? At the very least, I know it says that on the sheet I just handed you. I'm not gonna start throwing a fit, so I tell him it's an Ipod Touch 32 gig. He then turns around and looks at the shelves. There's no ipod there (I could've told him that already as I couldn't see it while I was waiting in line). So he goes and types a few more things in the computer, and then says "it's not on the shelf, I'm gonna have to go find someone to help you". Strike 1, it wasn't set aside, when the email told me it was, and you guys had an hour and a half from the time the store opened, to go get it.
So he walks away, goes to talk to the 3 other employees who are just standing around talking, and then comes back over to me and says "right this way". Ok great, now I can get it and get out of here. He brings me over to a random desk with a huge fat guy sitting at it (another employee who was not actually doing anything). Types some more stuff into the computer there, and prints out a sheet of paper that has stuff about in store pickup. it has a signature line at the bottom, he tells me to sign it and I'll get the ipod. I glance it over, boilerplate legal mumbo-jumbo, not liable for ___, giving best buy your first born, etc.... so i sign it. He then takes me back over to the customer service desk and mumbles something about unlocking. He gets back behind the desk (so I couldn't punch him?) and starts talking on the headset that all the employees are wearing. In the middle, he asks me again, what I'm picking up. Didn't I just tell you 5 minutes ago? And...aren't you still holding the paper that says what it is? Ipod touch 32 gig. So 5 minutes later, someone comes over and says to the first guy, yeah, we need someone to unlock the cage. he explains to me that ipods and similar expensive portable devices are kept in a small metal locker/cage thing right at the front of the store where the "asset management associate" (aka Best Buy Bouncer, aka guy who checks receipts) stands. what follows is a transcript of their conversation:
1: "so where's the key?"
2: "i dunno"
1: "well don't you have it?"
2: "no"
1: "does tony have it?"
2: "tony's not working today"
1: "what about ben?"
2: "umm maybe but I dunno where he is"
1: "isn't he answering on the mic?"
2: "nope, already tried"
1: "is he on break?"
2: "no his shift just started"
1: "is he in the shitter?"
2: "i'm not going in to check"
1: "neither am i"
2: "well what do we do?"
1: "go ask john"
{john turns out to be the Bouncer}
2: {yells over to Bouncer} "hey john, do you have the key for the cage?"
john: "nope, i'm not a manager"
2: "do you know who has the key?"
john: "maybe riley does?"
2: "ok thanks!"
2: {on headset} "riley, do you have the key?"
{inaudible static}
2: "can you come to the front of the store please?"
1: {to me} "what are you picking up again?"
me: {for the third time to the same person} "ipod touch 32 gig"
Strike 2, you have the memory of a goldfish.
So finally the person who actually DOES have the key arrives at the front of the store, and unlocks the cage. He gets the ipod out and brings it to #1 at the desk. He scans the barcode and gives me the ipod (finally) and says "you're all set". umm ok... on the paper (in the pickup email) it says you need to check my ID and the credit card that I used. "nope, we don't need to do that, that was the old procedure". (old since 2 hours ago? it clearly states I need to bring in my ID and credit card so you can verify) and where's my receipt? what if the Bouncer stops me as I'm leaving? what if i want to return it? Strike 3, no verification of who I am. I could've walked in there with a piece of paper that had gibberish written on it and a Best Buy logo at the top, and walked out of there (after half an hour) with a free ipod touch! or alternately, I could've told the guy that I was getting a 64 gig touch instead of 32. I would've had to tell him multiple times, but I bet I would be able to walk out with it!
whats the point of doing in store pickup if it would've been faster to just walk in the store and buy it?
I hate stupid people....
Monday, May 10, 2010
Ga ga ooh la la, want your bad romance
Gather 'round children, while I tell you the story of Thumper. No, not the bunny from Bambi, my upstairs neighbor. I call her Thumper, because I don't know her actual name, and well, she thumps.
{summons the spirit of Dr. Seuss}
she thumps in the night, she thumps in the day
she thumps when I am home, and probably when I'm away
her floors are wood, she thumps when walking
she thumps from sex, and I can hear her talking
I think she wears boots 24/7
I wish she would die and not go to heaven
now that we've gotten that out of the way, the real story:
So when I bought my condo, moved all my stuff in, things were great. Have my own place, much closer to work, owning instead of renting, etc. Perfectly fine for a few weeks. Then I started noticing that I could hear my upstairs neighbor walking around. No big deal, I thought, I only heard it in the afternoons. Then I started noticing that she seems to work weird hours, and comes home late (often after 11pm) and I can still hear her walking around at midnight or later. Kind of annoying, but nothing I can't deal with.
Then... I started hearing other noises, that were definitely not walking. These noises happened only late at night, times between midnight and 3 am or so. They are also very regularly timed, sounding like someone who was hammering in a nail constantly, but faster.
After a little bit of listening to this for the first time, I determined it was definitely her having sex, and the noise was her headboard/bed repeatedly hitting the wall. So I decided to pound on the ceiling, and the noises stopped. I later heard someone walking around, going to the bathroom (I can also hear the water in the pipes when she showers or flushes).
Flash forward to another night, I heard the thumping noises again, around 3am. I pound on the ceiling again, the noises stop. Then a few minutes later, they start again. I pound on the ceiling again, they stop.
This happened multiple times, and would eventually stop after I pounded on the ceiling. Then one night, I pounded on the ceiling, and the noises kept going. I decided I need to do something. I wrote a note on a piece of paper, something to the effect of "stop fucking so loudly, I would like to be able to sleep" but phrased nicer.
After that, I didn't hear the noises for a while. Then they started up again. I figured I would need to take this to the next level. So I thought to myself, what would be more annoying to someone in the middle of sex, than pounding on their floor? Of course, an airhorn! So I went on ebay, bought an airhorn, and waited for it to arrive. About a week or so after I got it, I heard the noises again. So here we go, let's test out the airhorn. I aimed it directly at the ceiling, pressed the button, and did a couple of short blasts, the noises stopped. Didn't hear the noise for a couple weeks, then again! dammit, don't you people fucking sleep at night? do you wake up in the middle of the night to fuck? Do you have insomnia? some sleep disorder that only causes you to be horny in the middle of the night? So this time, I was really pissed, I took the airhorn, put shoes on, and walked up the stairs, opened her outer door, flipped up the mail slot, and blew the airhorn through the mail slot. Went back downstairs, and didn't hear any more noise.
Then, the next time I heard it, it was 6:30 am on a Sunday, and I was woken up early by more thumping noises. I decided rather than use the airhorn, or pound on the ceiling, I would see if I could share the noise with others. So I grabbed my cell phone, pulled up the sound recorder, and recorded the noises. Below is the recording, turn up the volume, the cell phone mic is kinda crappy.
so that's the latest for now, the story will continue in the future I'm sure.... hopefully with less loud headboard sex for her, and more sleep for me.
{summons the spirit of Dr. Seuss}
she thumps in the night, she thumps in the day
she thumps when I am home, and probably when I'm away
her floors are wood, she thumps when walking
she thumps from sex, and I can hear her talking
I think she wears boots 24/7
I wish she would die and not go to heaven
now that we've gotten that out of the way, the real story:
So when I bought my condo, moved all my stuff in, things were great. Have my own place, much closer to work, owning instead of renting, etc. Perfectly fine for a few weeks. Then I started noticing that I could hear my upstairs neighbor walking around. No big deal, I thought, I only heard it in the afternoons. Then I started noticing that she seems to work weird hours, and comes home late (often after 11pm) and I can still hear her walking around at midnight or later. Kind of annoying, but nothing I can't deal with.
Then... I started hearing other noises, that were definitely not walking. These noises happened only late at night, times between midnight and 3 am or so. They are also very regularly timed, sounding like someone who was hammering in a nail constantly, but faster.
After a little bit of listening to this for the first time, I determined it was definitely her having sex, and the noise was her headboard/bed repeatedly hitting the wall. So I decided to pound on the ceiling, and the noises stopped. I later heard someone walking around, going to the bathroom (I can also hear the water in the pipes when she showers or flushes).
Flash forward to another night, I heard the thumping noises again, around 3am. I pound on the ceiling again, the noises stop. Then a few minutes later, they start again. I pound on the ceiling again, they stop.
This happened multiple times, and would eventually stop after I pounded on the ceiling. Then one night, I pounded on the ceiling, and the noises kept going. I decided I need to do something. I wrote a note on a piece of paper, something to the effect of "stop fucking so loudly, I would like to be able to sleep" but phrased nicer.
After that, I didn't hear the noises for a while. Then they started up again. I figured I would need to take this to the next level. So I thought to myself, what would be more annoying to someone in the middle of sex, than pounding on their floor? Of course, an airhorn! So I went on ebay, bought an airhorn, and waited for it to arrive. About a week or so after I got it, I heard the noises again. So here we go, let's test out the airhorn. I aimed it directly at the ceiling, pressed the button, and did a couple of short blasts, the noises stopped. Didn't hear the noise for a couple weeks, then again! dammit, don't you people fucking sleep at night? do you wake up in the middle of the night to fuck? Do you have insomnia? some sleep disorder that only causes you to be horny in the middle of the night? So this time, I was really pissed, I took the airhorn, put shoes on, and walked up the stairs, opened her outer door, flipped up the mail slot, and blew the airhorn through the mail slot. Went back downstairs, and didn't hear any more noise.
Then, the next time I heard it, it was 6:30 am on a Sunday, and I was woken up early by more thumping noises. I decided rather than use the airhorn, or pound on the ceiling, I would see if I could share the noise with others. So I grabbed my cell phone, pulled up the sound recorder, and recorded the noises. Below is the recording, turn up the volume, the cell phone mic is kinda crappy.
so that's the latest for now, the story will continue in the future I'm sure.... hopefully with less loud headboard sex for her, and more sleep for me.
First!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!one!!!
Ok, so I decided based on suggestions of coworkers that i'm "hilarious" and "you should start a blog", that I'm gonna quit my job and go work somewhere with people who have a better sense of humor.... umm, I mean, I decided that I'm gonna start this blog!
So what's this blog gonna be about? Mostly boring stuff in my life that I try to make funny, stupid comments, possibly racist/bad/sexual innuendo-type jokes, random thoughts out of my messed up head, and basic stuff of my everyday life that I feel like sharing with the world in general.
The title is an obvious allusion to the fact that I'm a techno-nerd and that tech support sucks, but you may be wondering why the term "PICNIC", why not "sucks" or "is bad". Well, I'm not gonna tell you, so http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com/ Or you can go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_error and read about a couple of similar acronyms too.
I will follow up this first post today with some stuff tonight, "retroactive posts" if you will, about recent funny stuff that I want to share, including a certain sound clip that people seemed to enjoy :) For now though, back to work {sigh}
I will leave you with something that I thought of today when reading something at work from a person named Gail Hollabauch:
I can't keep a straight face when I see this woman's name... I keep thinking about the gwen stefani song Hollaback Girl.....
"A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail
I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail"
So what's this blog gonna be about? Mostly boring stuff in my life that I try to make funny, stupid comments, possibly racist/bad/sexual innuendo-type jokes, random thoughts out of my messed up head, and basic stuff of my everyday life that I feel like sharing with the world in general.
The title is an obvious allusion to the fact that I'm a techno-nerd and that tech support sucks, but you may be wondering why the term "PICNIC", why not "sucks" or "is bad". Well, I'm not gonna tell you, so http://www.justfuckinggoogleit.com/ Or you can go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_error and read about a couple of similar acronyms too.
I will follow up this first post today with some stuff tonight, "retroactive posts" if you will, about recent funny stuff that I want to share, including a certain sound clip that people seemed to enjoy :) For now though, back to work {sigh}
I will leave you with something that I thought of today when reading something at work from a person named Gail Hollabauch:
I can't keep a straight face when I see this woman's name... I keep thinking about the gwen stefani song Hollaback Girl.....
"A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just gonna happen like that
'Cause I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail
I ain't no Hollabaugh, Gail"
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